


Sandcastles

by Ashbear



Series: Castles in the Sky [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-06 22:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashbear/pseuds/Ashbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their castles were no longer floating in the sky, but grounded in the sand. Twelve years ago, fate had given them a second chance. Ten years ago, they exchanged vows; six years ago, their daughter had been born - time changes, but not everything. Follow-up to "<a href="88722/chapters/120230">Castles in the Sky</a>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmeraldLatias](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldLatias/gifts), [Ronin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ronin/gifts).



> Almost twelve years ago, I wrote my first fanfiction, [Castles in the Sky](88722/chapters/120230). This is a follow-up – the short version is Rinoa left Garden in a misunderstanding, was in a car accident, lost her sight and danced to fulfill a promise to her mother – she and Squall did find their way back to one another. In 2003 a friend of was going to create a website and asked me to do a short story that would be exclusive. I'd always had an idea of for an epilogue to Castles, so I wrote it. However, the site never came to fruition and over time I forgot about it. It wasn't until another young author Ao Sekai asked if they could write a one-shot. I happened to be with Erica (Emerald Latias) and told her about the story I once wrote.
> 
> At that point, I felt like I really wanted to write it. However, unlike the lost version from 2003 – it is different. The original was to take place two years after the story ended, but too much time past. I wanted to emulate life, showing the ups and downs of the character's life since the fic ended. This will be in 'real time' basically meaning it takes place twelve years after castles (fifteen after the game's events). In this, Rinoa was 32 and Squall 33.
> 
> The first chapter is history and Rinoa's memories are for framing. This is not the part I wrote as the epilogue although as it very much leads into it. That will make more sense as we move on – also the question I'm asked most is 'did Rinoa ever get her sight back?' The answer in my mind has never changed, but I'll explain that after the next/last chapter.

She listened.

The world didn't have _a_ sound; it had _many_.

She knew that very few would ever truly hear, just as very few would ever truly see. People were conditioned to accept only what their minds perceived, but if they went beyond what was possible, boundaries could be shattered and impossible redefined.

It just takes that single want, or to be driven by just one need, but once you open yourself to the world beyond your eyes, your heart can not only see everything, but hear it too.

.

Sight, sound, touch, taste, smell… Five distinct senses that Rinoa Heartilly had taken for granted the first twenty years of life. That was, until an accident twelve years ago when it all changed. It was the sirens of the first-responders and the pungent taste of blood. It was the smell of burnt rubber and gas and the hands in the dark that poked and prodded. It was everything that she experienced in those moments leading up to where she almost died, but it's also those moments when she began to live.

To most, the lesson would've cost too high of price, but for Rinoa it wasn't about the lasting scars or the string of bruises, it wasn't even about permanently losing her sight. By herself and then with the help of others, it had been a time of re-discovering the fight she had inside. She also came face-to-face with another reality that day - all five senses were intertwined and, with the absence of one, the others became stronger - the loss became only what she made of it.

It was also that drive, her need to overcome that allowed her to never assign blame. It would've been easy - a wayward driver, a manufactured holiday, a meaningless kiss, a love song filled with memories, or even foolish misunderstandings. That night had simply been a crescendo in a chain of events.

Those events didn't destroy her - in time, they came to define her.

Yes, maybe she should've handled things differently -not move away from Garden, given Squall a chance to explain, and not tried to date a man she didn't have feelings for. But life often was filled with bad decisions, and sometimes those decisions were under the guise of moving on.

Hindsight was 20/20, even for the blind. As a teenager, with her lofty ideals and dreams, she often felt that life was black and white. Situations were either good or bad and misunderstandings simply didn't happen – they were fact. Most of all communication didn't need to be worked at; it was natural when you became a couple – this alone was the biggest fallacy of them all.

Again, she could be upset, but that would be like blaming the stars for only shining at night - that's what Squall was back then. Intense, bright, focused, and beautiful in his own right, but alone and isolated. And while he ruled the nighttime of his life, his emotions were the daytime and Rinoa had been a child of the sun. But the darkness couldn't exist without the light, and just like the senses, time was intertwined as were fates of both Rinoa and Squall.

And similar to the senses, they found a way to defy logic; instead of weakening, their bond grew stronger in one another's absence. Day and night met at sunrise and sunset, and that's where they'd eventually discover their common ground. It took two years of being apart, but the finally found a way to live their lives on the in between.

And that's the time when she and Squall exchanged their vows ten years ago, on the beach at sunrise. In all her years, Rinoa was never a morning person, but there was an exception to every rule – and that day had been hers. It was also a day that none of their mistakes had mattered. Nor did they matter when their daughter was born six years ago, or when he was promoted to Headmaster three years ago, or when he finds himself on his nightly search-and-rescue mission for his half of the covers. None of those mistakes mattered because she'd learn to let go. Then again, the difference between holding on and letting – let's just say she had great role models when it came to both.

Holding on to the past was easy. She could've spent her entire lifetime focused on her regrets. Hatred was simply the seed; bitterness grew from everything she'd lost back then - sight, career, Squall, and the people she was convinced betrayed her. It wouldn't have been her blindness that made her life dark – it would've been becoming a prisoner to her mind and hatred.

Ultimecia had shown her this; the sorceress had held onto her hatred until it consumed her.

But letting go…

That was difficult to move beyond self-doubt and even resentment. She had to let go of who she was before the accident and accept that even getting a drink of water would be a challenge at first. Letting go of herself was about knowing the difference between pride and helplessness. It wasn't a weakness to ask for help if she needed. It was stepping out of her comfort zone and embracing the darkness, rather than fearing it. Once she learned that sight was more than seeing, hearing was more than listening, it was entirely freeing.

To even her surprise, Squall Leonhart had been the one to teach her this.

To most who crossed paths with her husband, that statement couldn't have been more off-the-mark. Balamb's current Headmaster, strict and ridged, was far from the textbook picture of free-spirited. But once he'd learned to relinquish control of his emotions and let himself _feel;_ he told her it was like seeing the world for the very first time.

Their story had taken a lot of twists and turns to get here, but looking back now, she wouldn't change one thing about the journey.

Fifteen years ago, Squall tried to separate his personal and professional life. It didn't go well. Rinoa left Garden and most of the progress that he made was taken with her. Twelve years ago they reconnected by an accident, a ballet, and rather _eccentric_ Deling socialite. Even then, it would take more than that - those were tangible. It was fighting and believing and even forgiving. And with help from Ellone's ability, they were granted a second chance.

What they would make of it was left up to them.

In the end, they both learned they need to let go, seeing more than just the physical. A lesson that even their daughter would learn. While Skyler could ask him to lay on the grass and find shapes in the clouds, that request would likely get one kicked off the SeeD Field-Exam. It would probably also require a head examination by Garden's councilor.

In the chain-of-events that was their lives, if just one link had been broken, everything would've been different.

**-o-O-o-**

For a brief moment, Rinoa's fingers lingered above the sand in front of her.

" _No, that's not right,"_ her inner voice insisted.

She allowed her palm to gently skim across the surface, moving carefully until she felt her shadow. This particular sand was just out of the sunlight's reach, so its temperature remained cooler to the touch. The difference was so little that it would've gone unnoticed to most - not to her. Rinoa knew what sand had been in direct sunlight and which had recently absorbed the rays, retaining the heat. Even if the grains had only been covered by shadows for a minute, the difference she felt was like deciphering night from day.

More than any of that, she'd been guided by over a decade's worth of intuition. Just because the sand may have been cooler, didn't mean it was better. Like many facets of life, it wasn't outward appearances that mattered, but what you found when you began digging beneath the surface.

Of course, this time, that analogy was also to be taken literal, because she needed to _dig deeper_ to reach the needed layers of moisture. Like mining for gold, Rinoa knew she'd reached a good vein. She'd stopped trying to explain this ability to others years ago as she could barely explain it to herself.

Sadly, this particular skill set didn't qualify as something career-worthy, because even Squall would agree that she'd bypassed amateur status long ago. Like so many other highly professional ( _yet not-so-sought-after_ ) specialties, it hadn't come easy. This ability to hunt, unearthing the perfect materials had been a quest that rivaled the defeat of Ultimecia.

The only other 'quest' that came somewhat close to either event was a rather ill-timed craving. It seemed somewhere in her third trimester, she'd awoke at four in the morning, desperate for a strawberry smoothie. She'd caught Squall walking out the door, although he'd be late for work - she couldn't even fathom what time he considered 'normal' if that was late. So after she explained her plight, he was a true gentleman, either that or the fear of angering a pregnant, coffee-less, hormone-raging, sorceress, and offered his services as her knight.

Of course, the word 'simple' wasn't in Rinoa's vocabulary.

It had been in the dead of winter and the cafeteria didn't stock fresh strawberries – _an absolute must_. Compounding the 'not-simple-ness' of it, nearly the entire continent had been hit by a blizzard. So her loving husband (and/or her fearful I-don't-want-to-be-Silenced- knight) commandeered a Garden vehicle and trudged into town with her in toe. _That_ went about as well as expected at such an ungodly hour, under a mountain of snow. In a happy accident, they happened on Ma Dincht at the grocery store who was stocking up before the next storm front came in from the west. One thing led to another and by 7:00 am, aka - her husband's lunchtime, Rinoa was drinking her berry-fueled breakfast. Without question, Ma had made them the best smoothie known to mankind, but there was a price – Ma asked them a favor. She'd recently found out she was ill and, even with treatment, it would be a few years at best. She asked Rinoa to personally look after Zell; she was worried about him.

Even with the blizzard outside, sitting in the Dincht's kitchen - laughing about _nothing_ and _everything_ \- was single-handedly the best memory she had of Ma Dincht. It had been difficult when she finally lost her battle and passed away four years ago, but she'd made a promise to her friend's mother. Rinoa had been there, even when the martial artist didn't want her to be. They spent countless hours on the phone, he'd become one of her best friends, still she wanted him to get out. So, she dragged him - to lunches and dinners and even a shopping trip in Deling City

He said he didn't enjoy it, but he had, especially the night she dragged him to a performance by her old ballet company. She argued that it was only one night just to keep his mind off everything, yet it turned out so much more than that. They were going to have the best seats in the house; actually, the most eloquent box-seating in Galbadia and most likely the world. However, Rinoa neglected to mention one _microscopically-tiny, infinitesimally-small_ detail – like the seats were so posh because the owner's middle could have easily been 'posh.'

…Not really, but Rinoa did think that Maude "Posh" McCay did have certain ring to it.

Given their history, or more like Maude's history with all the males of the species below the age of twenty-five, Rinoa thought it was best to leave the Maude-factor out. It was often a rule of thumb to live by. Yet, oddly the eighty-something cougar was just what the doctor prescribed - a doctor that Squall later stated he'd be damned to go to. As eccentric as Maude was – somehow, that's what Zell needed. To laugh, to joke, to even return her one-liners and innuendos without missing a beat, but most of all, she somehow understood. It was eerie, for all her outward flamboyance, she truly understood people inside. Maybe that's because she didn't take herself too seriously and that was lesson they all could learn no matter their age. Rinoa didn't know it was humanly possible, but she could hear his smile…yeah, maybe _that_ was just wishful thinking.

After the curtain closed, Maude invited them backstage…or dragged Zell by the hand, _whichever_. Her grand-niece had just been named Deling's Prima ballerina and Maude was proud as a peacock…not surprisingly, Rinoa later discovered that's what the older woman's dress was – a _peacock,_ decked in green and blue feathers, complete with plunging necklines and headpiece. That mental image aside, _far aside_ , Rinoa remembered the girl from workshops. The niece was about three years younger than most of her friends. Alexandra McCay began her career a little later in life but had a _natural talent_ that couldn't be denied – a fact that Maude (continually) pointed out was a family trait and wasn't limited to ballet, dancing in general, or even the need to 'remain vertical.'

Again, putting that bevy of mental images aside, Rinoa found out that night she and Alex had even shared a stage; she'd even performed with the corps when another dancer had been injured. The night to turned out to be a healing moment for both of them. She got to reconnect with dancers who had been her family. She hadn't thought about the irony – no matter how hard she tried, she seemed to leave someone behind. Since that night four years, she'd remained in contact with her dancer-family. Of course, it had become a tad easier, given that she was going to get an unlikely connection.

Zell, the guy who complained to no end that he looked like six-foot penguin in his tuxedo, found his penguin-ess that night. It seemed that Alex had more to celebrate than her promotion. Six-months later, Zell transferred to Galbadia Garden and officially became Mr. Prima-Ballerina-Dancer and Mr. Grand-Nephew of Maude "Posh" McCay.

Most people said that six months of dating was too quick for marriage, but Zell never backed down. It wasn't a surprise that Rinoa supported him; however, the fact that Squall was his biggest advocate - that was a surprise to many. Even Irvine, who was facing his own marital troubles by then, remained firmly in his corner. Three years later, and there hadn't been a single doubt in regards to his choice. He believed that if you know what you want, go for it; you never know what tomorrow may bring. Now 'tomorrow' may bring either a girl or boy, well, more like three months and one week to be exact, but soon Rinoa would be an aunt again. Ma would be thrilled.

And to think, it all started with a smoothie quest and a husband who'd do anything for her – or again was fearful of being turned into a Toad.

Joking aside, she loved that man. No, their relationship wasn't perfect. They had their share of disagreements – and often their disagreements had disagreements, but that's what kept it interesting. She appreciated him even more once he joined the rest of society and started waking up at 6:30. It wasn't because he wanted to stay up later with her or sleep in; it was because he wanted to be there when Skyler got up in the mornings. Just when she thought she couldn't love the guy anymore, he goes and does that – plus he invented the Rinoa-mocha-coffee-double-shot smoothie. The man was nothing, if not a genius.

Of course, as she continued digging on the beach, the sun beating down on her on what was heralded as the 'hottest day of the year' thus far, all she wanted was another smoothie. It seemed that she believed in smoothie extremes. Maybe it was time to send Squall and Skyler on their first father-daughter quest.

She chuckled to herself; it was only fitting to be remembering all these little things today. This was a rather monumental day of celebration in the Leonhart household. It was also fitting to be on the beach, this is how they spent a lot of their free time. Then again, if she thought too much about being alone with her own thoughts, she'd quickly break. The memories, the way she visualized moments unfolding in her mind - those were what kept her sane.

Using her palm, she flattened the sand, making sure to fill in every last millimeter of the bucket. As she pressed down, she felt quite accomplished today. The weather was perfect for both the beach and smoothies, but this day was perfect for sandcastles. And to have the perfect castle, you had to have the perfect foundation. It couldn't have too many rocks or broken shells; it had to hold the perfect consistency. She even kept a water bottle nearby to spray it, keeping it from getting dry and crumbling. Again, she'd spent years in-training, perfecting the technique, to find the finest sand on Balamb's coastlines. Besides her pre-destined ability and of course the daughter-inspired-desire, the most important factors were the tools of the trade.

Just like Squall was an exceptional swordsman and knight but, take away Lionheart and give him a gunblade fashioned from a piece of driftwood, and fighting an Iron Giant may have a slightly less-than-desirable outcome. Yes, he'd still be an excellent warrior but, without the right weapon, it was the equivalent of fighting an epic battle with a toothpick.

…Although, that happened.

It was after Irvine's quest to make the perfect mixed drink and he'd left a box of toothpicks out. None of them were really drinkers, especially her husband, but it was all in the name of helping a friend get a part-time job at a bar. On a positive note, Irvine did succeed in getting his bartending license. On a less positive note, it's why the "Great New Year's Eve Toothpick Conflict" from seven years ago would live on in infamy - for more than one reason.

First, the party had been historically inaccurate - the "Great New Year's Eve Toothpick Conflict" had actually taken place in July. Back then, Selphie claimed that she'd spent, more-or-less, **three solid years** pregnant. Okay, _not really_ , but when the story passed into legend, she talked about how surviving three years of continuous of mood swings and insanely-swollen breasts... Oddly, Irvine recalled it the _exact_ same way.

After Conner was born, she wanted to take a night off and "PAAH-TAY," making up for everything she'd been forced to sit on the sidelines for. To make up for the last few New Year's Eves, she planned a themed party. Quistis and Rinoa had suggested calling it the "Summer Solstice Smash Spectacular," but Selphie could be...adamant. Truthfully, the hormonal issue had still very much been in play and everyone _slightly_ feared for their safety. So, they all went along with her plan, but it turned out to be quite fun. They wore those ridiculous glasses with numbers forming the frames and Zell had even had the pre-recorded tape of the countdown to midnight.

However, unlike every other country in, well, the world, Balamb did things slightly backwards... Instead of having a lighted object descend down a pole, they rang in the new year by the famed Balamb Fish ascending ' _up the fishing line.'_ It was meant as a nod to the communities livelihood and, not too surprisingly, Zell and Grease Monkey had been part of the town's brain-trust that implemented the concept years , even if the idea was simulate reeling the fish up from the water, people still counted down to get to the new year. Rinoa loved this town, even with its little fish-related quirks.

Again, the date was only one reason the party was remembered. The other was far more traumatic on a personal level for Squall. It was Zell's crushing victory over her husband and, from what Rinoa heard, the battle sounded… _epic._ Really.

Either way, it proved her point - whether a gunblade or sand for castles walls, finding the right tools was important as was keeping sharp, pointy objects away from Zell. She openly smiled at the memory. That night, after everyone left, she and Squall both got carried away that night as her poor husband _did_ need consulting after his traumatic toothpick defeat.

…Two months and one week later Rinoa found out she was pregnant. To this day, she knew she still owed Irvine a bigger 'thank you' after all.

Six years (not to mention thirty-six hours of labor) later, that's how she ended up with this particular expertise – and again – expert not amateur. Okay, maybe she hadn't let go of _everything_ from fifteen years ago. Then again, if her family was to be believed, she could even go toe-to-toe with the world's finest construction workers. If Esthar or Fisherman's Horizon thought _they_ had good architects, they had no idea what they'd be up against.

She continued digging as she looked out into the ocean and 'looking' meant nothing of sight. Maybe that was one of the reasons their little family of three had bonded over both the sand and _castles_ – there was a history after all.

Again, she found herself becoming sentimental. She always teared-up on birthdays and anniversaries; this year was no exception. Wait, no it was an exception – Squall Leonhart, the man who believed 'social' was a dirty word, wanted to get everyone together. He _wanted_ to have a birthday party; it was surreal, but Rinoa wasn't about to question the impossible, she'd embrace it.

It only showed how far they'd come.

That's why she'd never be upset because the castles no longer floated in the sky, but a lifetime later, they were still very much a part of who she was. Still, beautiful and filled with wonder, from the pointed turrets to the battlement, the castles were very much there, but they'd evolved, becoming grounded in reality. Evolution was natural, as were fairytales and castles were talismans of childhood, but being loved, having a family, finding your place – _these_ were the dreams of born of reality.

As far as the beach, well that was a little different than her metaphorical castles. The beach held a special meaning for both her and Squall.

In a way, a beach was where it began. That's why when it came to the wedding, the beach was their one and only choice. Both agreed to have a small, intimate ceremony with those closest to them. In total, there were nineteen people…and a very-well groomed, Selphie-forced-to-be-dolled up, bow-and-dress wearing dog. It would've felt right getting married without her four-legged best friend. After she left Garden, Angelo remained her only constant.

Rinoa stifled a sniff, today was about celebration and remembering the good times - Angelo had been there through each of them, always willing to lend a helping paw. When the canine passed away fourteen months ago, they'd all lost a part of themselves. She was more than a pet, more than a seeing-eye dog, she was family. To outsiders, Angelo was often the forgotten one, but not them; there weren't six heroes that defeated Ultimecia – there were seven. As a family with Squall and Skyler, they spread her ashes into the ocean at sunset - the water followed the ebb and flow of life, and somehow it just seemed fitting.

The minute Rinoa saw the tri-colored Galbadian Shepherd, she'd fallen in love. That was something…something she thought about far too much. In the dark hours alone, she hated that no matter how much she'd let go, it was human nature to think about the 'what ifs.' It was those times that she'd let her guard down that the moments of regret slipped in. Up until when Skyler was born – _and far before_ -what she held closest to her had been born from serendipity. She didn't exactly believe in "Love at first sight" but it was something similar; two souls reaching out to one another on level beyond sight or even reason. That broke with her daughter because she didn't have to see her to know that she was already loved. Yet that didn't mean that every once and a while, she didn't start to feel herself slip into old patterns, but they kept her grounded. Their voices were her smiles.

Even more fitting was after they watched the sunset behind the ocean, they banded together as a family. Sometimes in life when you lose something, you're reminded of just how much you've gained. That's what she re-discovered that night as they sat on the beach, talking about the stars, the moon, the new colored pencils that Skyler's class was using this year and were, to quote her daughter, 'awesome-sauce, 'and every little thing in between… it was just life. Rinoa hadn't expected Skyler to sit so peacefully, yet the young girl surprised her temperate and patient behavior– characteristics she'd definitely received from her father. Then again, they had been brought there by a somber occasion.

As she leaned against her father sometimes holding back the tears and sometimes not, Skyler heard something amazing - a story. It wasn't a story from a book or even how they first met – Squall told her that before. This time he told her about was they 'second met' and, most importantly, about the moment everything changed for him. He told her about why they loved bringing her to the beach – why it meant more than sand and water. Squall opened up to her; Rinoa had no idea if Skyler would remember this later on, it wasn't likely, there was no way for her to comprehend the meaning in her then five-old mind. But Rinoa knew; she knew that every word Squall spoke had history behind it and how difficult it was for him to close his eyes before eventually letting go.

Still, it sounded so natural the way he told their story. That's why it didn't matter if Rinoa had heard it a thousand times or relived it her mind every-waking hour; hearing the words from his mouth, in his voice made it new. It didn't matter if she lived it - she was experiencing it for the very first time. In truth, for all the good things in their relationship, they didn't talk of it much, her blindness was something that simply 'was' and no amount of speaking would change that. It was accepted by both Skyler and Squall and that had always been that. Rinoa had thought long and hard about what to tell her daughter when she asked, but she never had. She thought it was best to the girl was ready on her own, so she never pushed, but she waited.

So she listened as Squall told Skyler about the first time he saw the sunset in Deling. He explained how Rinoa had been living with Caraway and Uncle Robert. True, he was Rinoa's cousin, but for the sake of keeping things streamlined in the family 'uncle' worked better.

By the time Squall talked about his walking alone to the beach, any pretense she tried keeping up for her daughter was gone. The tears fell freely, gently carving a path through her façade. She was glad that he'd omitted certain aspects of that day, like bringing his gunblade with him or the fight before the lead him to find solace in the beach. She had no idea of Skyler understood completely, but she also knew that his words weren't only for his daughter – they were equally for her. Again, it wasn't something they talked about; in a way, it had been his way of reassuring her of everything he still felt.

By the time Squall explained about hearing the music; he told her about how anyone can hear music, but it's your heart that allows you to find the symphony hidden in nature – now she was rather a blubbering fool. Thankfully, it seemed that Skyler's attention had been drawn elsewhere; it's hard to see your parent cry and, she doubted at that age, she'd be able to discern between tears of happiness from those of sadness. Rinoa had a feeling at the time that she was reading too much into things and her daughter knew more than she let on.

Great. Now she was crying again. Twelve years might as well have been yesterday, she was just as emotional. Squall still wasn't big on admitting his feelings. Time hadn't changed, but even if he didn't say them, he showed them through actions.

And that night led to something, the first time she truly felt blind since those first days losing her sight.

It was about nine months after the beach and they were getting ready for Skyler's sixth birthday. Rinoa had been feeling ill, but needed to finish the cake. Squall had been home and told her that, prior to contrary believe, he was more than capable of pulling a cake out of oven. Albeit begrudgingly, she went to go lay down. Sky had gone to play with the 'trio of terror' aka Selphie and Irvine's three children. It had been Irvine's weekend for visitation and it was easier to plan the party when the birthday girl _wasn't_ asking a million questions - forget biology, it was a habit that she'd inherited from Uncle Zell.

She wanted to get something to drink, but walking down the hall, she heard her daughter's voice. It sounded like she was in her mega-question mode, poor Squall was probably being overwhelmed with randomness. Smiling, she couldn't help herself as she leaned against the wall. It wasn't right to eavesdrop, but a flustered-Squall was so damn adorable.

"…And said crayons and candles were both made of wax. Then Colton wanted to try to draw with candles. So he went to the dining room table and touched the thing in that center that Uncle Irvine always tells them not to touch. Then he said since the candles he had were gold we should draw gold Chocobos so he gave us all one."

" _Don't_ tell me you-" There had been a definite hint of accusation, but Squall caught himself. Thankfully, Skyler wouldn't be aware the intonation was just too slight. For all the Headmaster's accomplishments, there remained limits. Today, those boundaries were being tested by an extremely anxious five-year-old.

As a form of self-prescribed meditation, he inhaled deeply until his lungs were filled with air. To her what came next remained the single-best indicator of how upset or horrified he was. It had a near-flawless success rate, far better than any 'mood ring' she'd owned growing up. The air that went in must come out. So, when he exhaled she heard a faint, but shrill, whistling sound emanated from his mouth; however, if he was _really_ holding back, the air came out of his nostrils. Not too surprisingly, today only, proved to be merely a low-level of irritation.

For years, Rinoa debated whether to ask if this technique had been something SeeD-originated. She thought maybe he'd conditioned himself into calming down this way, or maybe it was habitual and he was simply unaware? In the end, she decided against asking – there was comfort in familiarity. That meant knowing his behavior, even if he didn't. And, if his exhaling wasn't by design, he could easily stop doing it once it was pointed out. _These_ were the little things she could never explain to others; the verbal and non-verbal cues that helped her read people's expressions without seeing them. One of the things she'd come to treasure most about their relationship were the 'words' spoken within the words.

Rinoa had a term for these pregnant pauses, she'd coined them Squall's version of, "time-out." The term originated when Skyler hit her so-called 'terrible-twos' ….at nineteen months. Unfortunately, this also- coincided with Zell and Irvine hitting their, aptly-dubbed, 'terrible-teens.' Alas, this carried on through their 'terrible-twenties' and 'terrible-thirties.' One night after a three o'clock in the morning phone call, Squall confided that he hoped that his friends' developmental stage was about to level out - just like Skyler leveled out at 4-years-old, they'd do likewise, maturing at 40-years-old. To be fair, he did an amazing job with Skyler. It was just every so often he'd become overwhelmed by her enthusiasm.

Also being fair, Irvine and Zell were both amazing, mature men - separately. However, the few times they got together a year, she'd just say that if a middle-of-the-night phone call was the worst of it, they'd all be lucky.

She remembered not feeling well, but still finding a way to remain upbeat as she leaned against the wall listening in. It all seemed so innocent at the time; she loved these candid moments between them, even if her husband was a tad over his head. At least he'd composed himself enough to ask his directly.

"Skyler, _please_ tell me you didn't try coloring with candles."

"Not me! But Cooper tried to but then broke them in two. So then when that didn't work, Colton and Conner wanted to see if it worked the other way and crayons could work as candles. They started look for matches so I went to get Uncle Irvine. "

" _God help them,"_ Squall mumbled incoherently. _"…God help me."_

Rinoa smiled. She couldn't read Squall's mind, but she knew the exact expletives on it. First, it was the thought of Selphie and Irvine raising the trio and then his thoughts shifted to the fact that said trio was going to be at Skyler's birthday party tonight along with ten more kids and the possibility of a sick wife looming over his head.

After that thought, when Squall took a breath that time, it was definitely exiting through his nose.

Trio never used to be this bad but, since their parents had separated two years ago, they'd been acting out. Even though Irvine and Selphie had managed to separate still being best friends (a reality not many understood) the boys always held out hope. Nobody cheated, or betrayed anyone – the two were mature enough to realize they simply were better off as friends. However, when Selphie became engaged again, the boys really had a hard time. Squall had truly respected Irvine through this, coming from the Headmaster that was high-praise. In time, they became unlikely best friends and the cowboy had handled thing so well, Squall offered him the position of commander.

It also didn't help that instead of spacing out the kids, they decided to basically have them one after another. Selphie thought it would be easier in the long run with their Garden careers, although she said later that maybe she shouldn't have been _quite_ so impulsive. Then again, impulse was the couple's middle name. They whole discussion about children came up when Selphie and Irvine were on assignment on Dollet, Squall was then commander. It was one of those missions after Rinoa had left Garden, back when Squall was as fun as a barrel of Geezards .The 'legend' goes that she and Irvine snuck out for a late-night swim – that's when density struck. When they were leaving, she looked in the sand finding a single page from a baby name book – it contained the names from "Cl – Co." She kept it for future reference, believing.

Last week the Kinneasi (dubbed the official plural by Zell) ages 8, 9, and _almost_ 10, snuck out to go swimming in Garden's south fountains. Squall called it karma; Irvine called it an average Friday night.

It had been followed by several loud 'thuds' in the kitchen, which was often was bad. Thankfully, no screams or curse words followed, so Rinoa figured that all was well with her make-shift chefs. Once Sky started speaking again, she knew not to send in the cavalry.

"Uncle Irvine then hugged me and I was fresh air or something? Maybe that's because the boy's room smells like feet."

"Skyler. Be nice." Sadly, it was true, but that wasn't the point. Irvine was an amazing dad, it was just difficult after the divorce.

"Sorry... Then Uncle Irvine asked if I wanted new brothers." Skyler giggled. "I told him that I really, really do…but not his boys."

"Maybe one of these days."

…God help her.

But besides her errant thought, she realized she couldn't decipher the meaning behind his comments, but that – that she didn't know if he was serious or something said in passing to appease his daughter.

"Dad… Can I ask you something?" Skyler's voice had grown softer as it often did when there was something on her mind.

If only Rinoa had gone back upstairs and let them have these moments – they weren't hers to intrude upon.

 

~o~0~0~o~ **  
**

(Photo by Sheila Knight for the orginial " _Castles in the Sky_." Rinoa's duster and Pointe ballet shoes)


	2. Act II

Regret is often something that cannot be controlled - an emotion rooted in the past, but thrives in the present.

To say she didn't look back, to say she didn't wish things were different, wouldn't be the truth. Rinoa Leonhart appreciated everything that she had, but she was only human. Squall still worked late nights and when she woke up alone, in the dark (…always in the dark) she had too much time to herself, too many regrets resting beside her. In those moments, she wished for one last glimpse of him, one first glimpse of Skyler – just one last memory that was based in sight.

There was no doubt that she could still 'see' a sunset, but it had been twelve years since she'd used her eyes to witness one. No matter how beautiful it was to use her senses – and by the grace of nature, life was beautiful - there were certain sights that couldn't be achieved through her senses. Instead, they lived on only in her mind.

It was only in memories that she relived pastimes or followed the path of a firefly, traced the path of a shooting star. It felt like forever ago that she'd read, unaided, the ingredients of a recipe. It wasn't like she'd ever been an amazing cook, quite the contrary, but she'd possessed the desire to learn, even after many failed attempts and false fire alarms…and one not-so-false alarm.

Those were the little things – little details that made up her life.

She cherished each of those memories, thankful that she had them at all, but memories never stopped the regret… As time went on, as days passed, the regrets had grown, but she'd bottled them inside – too thankful for everything she had to admit these things to anyone.

-o-O-o-

Rinoa leaned against the wall for support, still feeling under the weather. She really needed to be resting before Skyler's party, but she lived for these moments. They made everything feel…right.

"Dad, can I ask you something?"

She knew that Squall had been so focused on baking that he'd missed the hesitation in Skyler's voice. She caught it; she always caught it. Rinoa had no idea how much her daughter's words would affect her or how they'd become the precursor to something that changed all their lives.

Rinoa smiled, amused by her husband. Even after twelve years, he found the most unconventional ways to surprise her. Like the fact that no matter how brilliant Squall was at multitasking at work or during battle - there was a line. Today that line had been drawn, and then crossed, by his newest nemesis. It was that highly feared combination of a child's determination to ask many, many questions coupled with his latest mission, commanding the charge on baking birthday cupcakes. Thankfully, that deadly combination was information that Ultimecia was never privy to. If the final battle had consisted of a myriad of question and baking cupcakes, well, there'd be a fairly good chance time would currently be compressed.

Still, Rinoa felt bad, not just physically, but because her husband was quickly becoming defeated in his baking quest, "Go ahead…as long as it doesn't involve making you anything else edible or edible-like."

"Edible-like?" The little girl giggled. "It's you cooking. Nobody would be crazy enough to ask for that!"

"I'm hurt," he responded unconvincingly.

His words had been followed by a series of thumps and a single 'clang' that echoed throughout the apartment. Skyler's boisterous laughter filled the air, followed closely by soft traces of her husband's delayed amusement – a rather indicative sign that in the battle of Squall versus cupcakes, the baked goods currently had the upper hand.

The casualties were confirmed with Squall's next words. "Well, since that batch is now your birthday donation to the seagulls flying around the Quad, ask your question before we start that tray from scratch. Joy."

His enthusiasm betrayed him and Rinoa honestly felt bad. Garden's Headmaster was so out of his element baking nearly six dozen cupcakes, but Rinoa knew she wouldn't be a help in the kitchen; she'd merely feel like an even bigger hindrance than normal. No matter how much Skyler wanted to use Uncle Laguna's recipe, if this continued, maybe Rinoa would take on the role of party-pooper and suggest running to a store in Balamb.

Honestly, she should've left, but listening to her family was like an invisible tether. At that point, Rinoa could tell that Skyler jumped onto the counter – knowingly to Squall's dismay. There was a very distinct sound to it - her jumping, her feet colliding with the wooden panels, her palms sliding against the marble-topped island and, most specifically, the slight 'oomph' she'd let out after she'd pulled herself up.

Rinoa thought Skyler's sitting on the counter was sweet; Squall…was much less impressed.

This had been a longstanding battle that Squall originally had fallen on the 'wrong side' of, constantly reprimanding his daughter to get down. Then one night as they were all cooking dinner, Squall grumbled something along the lines of, "the only rumps he wanted on the countertop were those attached to a roast." That night in bed Rinoa pointed out that they'd broken that rule long before Skyler was born - going as far as saying that might've been why she was born. It was an argument that left him speechless, thereby effectively ending any further complaints. Sure, it still bothered him and, yes, she believed that maybe he'd given in a little too easily. After his divorce, Irvine once told them to wisely 'pick and choose your battles' when it came to both marriage and kids. Rinoa had a fairly good inclination that's advice her husband was following.

Still, Rinoa thought it was cute that Skyler was one of the very few who could defy Balamb Garden's Headmaster and not end up meeting the disciplinary committee up close and personal.

"Um…" Skyler began before stopping. This time, Rinoa could feel her daughter's uncertainty; she prayed that Squall caught it too. "Has mom ever asked about what I look like? Sometimes I…well, it's just that…I sorta think maybe she thinks I'm kind look like a boy because I always seem to hang around them…I mean would she think I'm pretty, you know? I wonder if I look like her…I mean at my age, not really old like she is now." Pausing, her voice cracked as she forced the words, "Do you think she tries to picture me?"

A dense silence filled the air, easily outweighing one of Balamb's notorious morning fogs. In an instant Rinoa's mouth became parched as she closed her eyes to a point of physical pain. How would Squall answer? It was a delicate subject and, although Squall was an amazing father and husband, sometimes expressing himself and handling emotions was difficult. Rinoa never faulted him; he'd done so much these past years and between Garden and family, he juggled so much – even with the strongest walls, time would show fissures.

The question itself had been innocent, she hadn't expected it. However, what she didn't expect more was this answer.

"Skyler, you know my answer. I don't care if it is your birthday… it doesn't give you free reign to break the rules. Your mother loves you for who you are and not what you look like. Just like we love her for who she is. This is why we have set boundaries."

"I know but," the little girl tried to defend. "It's just in school we were talking 'gen-attics' and about looking like our parents. I've never even seen pictures of…" Skyler was becoming flustered. "It's just I wondered-"

"Stop it," he cut her off. Rinoa had no idea what was happening. "Skyler Elizabeth Leonhart, if you have to start any sentence out with 'I know but' than you don't know. We've discussed this. We have firm rules in place. This is why you're supposed to think about everything you say from your mother's point of view. What if she heard you say that? How would she feel? Do you understand me?"

"…Yes." It had been difficult, but hearing her daughter agree, it was…. No, there were no words. Skyler's voice was barely above a whisper "…but you don't understand."

Rinoa hadn't been the only one to hear it. She covered her mouth trying to muffle any sobs. If Squall had been upset about a difficult, but innocent set of questions, how would he handle the fact she hadn't let it go?

So far, he was handling it well. "Then what did you mean?"

"…I'm not supposed to talk about it," Skyler answered sniffling, "you just told me that."

She had her parents' stubbornness, nobody could deny that. "Don't play smart with me, Skyler."

Rinoa stood against the wall, not sure what to make of any of this – it wasn't Skyler's question that bothered her, but her husband's response about "boundaries." What boundaries? All these years Skyler never talked her about her blindness, never asked what it was like, how it happened, nothing. Rinoa thought that maybe her daughter had accepted because it's all she'd even known or maybe that she hadn't been old enough to articulate those types of thoughts into words.

…Or maybe both of those things had been lies.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Rinoa had known something was off, although not to degree of rules or boundaries…because even the youngest child asks questions and speaks their mind. That was natural, nearly six years of silence was not.

Squall and Skyler's exchange had ended as abruptly as it started, although the mood in the kitchen had definitely changed. Rinoa knew that she'd overstayed her welcome, not that she was ever technically welcome to intrude on their conversation.

.

Her head pounded and her body ached as she returned to bed. Rinoa always lay alongside regret, but now so much had been compounded onto already complicated thoughts. She was supposed to sleep, but that wasn't happening; truthfully, sleep had become one of the most inconsistent things since her accident. Normally, even when she did manage, it was emotionally-draining as reality interwove itself into complex dreams. One thing that scared her was she only dreamt of what she'd seen – it was as if her mind refused to fill in the real memories with false images.

Even still, her dreams were fragmented; lately a majority had been glimpses of her life in Deling in the months prior to the accident. It was waiting in the wings before a performance, being submersed in lights, and even her regiment of taping and bathing her feet. Those memories often mixed with the year she'd spent with Squall before their breakup. In her dreams, she was trying to be everyone to be every "Rinoa" all at once – Caraway, Heartilly, and Leonhart.

Mother. Wife. Sorceress. Friend. Forest Owl. Dance partner. Teammate. Girlfriend….

Success. Failure.

Her dreamscape was everything entwined all at once.

Sometimes at night she'd awake with the tears already in her eyes, unable to distinguish dreams from reality. She'd instinctively reach for Squall – sometimes he was there, sometimes she'd only find empty sheets. It was those moments when her mind was still hazy that she was afraid to admit that she's found her own version of Time Compression. No, it wasn't the same. It never could be. She'd never be like Ultimecia, but in those moments – when past and present lived in her simultaneously - scared her more than perpetual darkness.

.

A few hours later, she was a proud mother sharing in her daughter's birthday, keeping the words she'd overheard to herself. She did didn't feel better, actually worse, but that wouldn't stop her from watching the girl as she opened presents. Again, this was one of those things that could never be the same, but listening was still beautiful. Hearing as Skyler removed the ribbons and bows, opened envelops and read cards, and fought against every childhood instinct to tear open presents in a frenzy. Then again, Uncle Zell would argue that desire didn't have an age limit. Rinoa was most amused by the not-so-subtle difference in the girl's tone between receiving clothes or toys – the latter having a distinct excitement level.

Up until now, Rinoa had kept her distance from the guests, but after everyone joined in singing Happy Birthday (yes, even Squall) and Skyler had gone through the traditional blowing out of the candles, Rinoa had to step away. Making her way into the hall, she drew in a feeble breath. It also appeared that her sneaking was less impressive that she thought, although she had an obvious disadvantage in the stealth department. It only took a few moments before Squall walked up.

"Rin, I'm sure everyone will understand. Stop being stubborn, go lay down…don't make me order you. I'll do it."

"I know you will." She appreciated his attempt at humor. "But I'm fine… it's just a lot of emotion all of a sudden."

"Emotional?" His voice betrayed his skepticism. Yes, she might've been sick, but he knew her well enough to know when she was holding back. "Do you want to talk?"

"Not now. Later. I just need, it's that…" she couldn't finish, finding herself grasping for words, just as Skyler had earlier. The next thing she felt was Squall's arms encircling her, pulling her close, and she couldn't help herself, nearly collapsing into him. Neither cared that they weren't exactly being the perfect party hosts - as Rinoa often joked - sometimes even parents needed a 'time out.'

It wasn't illness; it was she perceived as weakness. On a day that was supposed to celebrate, Rinoa felt her limitations…she realized that Squall had tried to protect her. His actions might've been with the best intentions, but they were also misguided. If their daughter couldn't be herself by asking questions, no matter how hard they were to hear, nobody in the family was being true to themselves.

There they stood in the darkened hallway, hiding away from the others, but hiding only lasted so long.

"Hey, wait for me!" A voice yelled from the other room. The two oldest Kinneas boys and Skyler had made their strategic exit from the party, leaving the youngest (aka the sacrificial lamb, Conner) to fend for himself among the 'really-boring adults.'

"Don't be so slow then!" Colton shot back, as they the three impatiently waited in the hall.

Squall had started to move, most likely to give his rather standardized lecture to "Thing 1, 2, and 3" Squall's not-so-endearingnicknames for the Kinneas clan, but Rinoa held on to him, shaking her head into his chest. "Let them go…please."

Taking a deep breath, the headmaster did his best not to go into a full-blown SeeD mode. His wife's request took precedence over his lecture about 'being respectful of other's property.' It was written after the untimely decapitation of Sky's favorite stuffed Chocobo. Thankfully, "Lucky" lived up to his name, surviving reconstructive surgery - even if the poor bird did have a permanently-awkward head tilt…much like Selphie's head Squall pointed out to his wife in confidence.

Unaware of the two adults in the shadows, Cooper asked, "So…whadda wish for? To stop going to that school in Balamb Town and go to a real school like Garden?"

"I like my real school!" Skyler defended her parents' choice vehemently. "Anyway, I can't tell you what I wished for, those are the rules!"

"Cooper, you're such a Blobra-brain, she's right, duh! 'Cause if she tells, then it won't come true," Colton stated all-knowingly. If 'rolling the eyes' had a corresponding tone, Colton had mastered it beautifully.

"It won't come true anyhow…that's why it's a wish." Skyler sounded…helpless. Squall must've caught it too, holding Rinoa tighter.

"Then it won't hurt to tell us," Conner urged, joining the rest of the 'under ten crowd.'

"Maybe she wished for you to stop being e-nnoying." The middle boy said in a tone that conjured the visual imagery of sticking out his tongue. No doubt, not too much of a stretch, Selphie was his mother after all.

"You can't be e-nnoying! It's ah–nnoying!" Colton corrected.

"Stop it. Don't fight with me on Sky's birthday." Cooper turned his attention back toward her. "If it can't come true, why would it hurt to tell?"

The long pause seemed to indicate she was contemplating the boy's words.

"….I wish my mom could see me one time…to know who I really am."

"That's crazy. She doesn't have to see you to know you. Your mom can tell all the important stuff." Again, the oldest one said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his two brothers then alternated their version of agreement.

Cooper stated the obvious. "Yeah, like she knows that you're a girl."

…And so did Conner. "And have long hair."

"And aren't totally sucky."

"Yeah, Cooper's right, for a girl you're not totally sucky…plus you like cool things like Chocobos, Cactuars, and model cars."

Colton finally jumped back in. "…But you use the cars for your dolls. Yeah, that part is kinda gross, but your mom knows that too. So what else does she need to know about you?"

"Yay, that's what matters, even if you're e-nnoying for a girl." Cooper did one of those fist pumps he'd seen uncle Zell do.

"Thanks." She replied softly, but there was something in her voice.

"Don't cry." Colton put his hand on her shoulder. "See, she knows you. That means your wish came true! Now let's go before your dad finds us. He can be so mean and grumpy."

"And lectures more than Aunt Quistis," Conner piped in. "I didn't know that was possible!"

There was a sense of mutual agreement and urgency as quartet scampered down the hallway.

Out of all the darkness found in those moments, there had been a light of sheer brilliance. Selphie and Irvine's boys had become the sum of their parents; their pep talk to Skyler had been unconventional, but they cared. Like true children of Selphie's, when they weren't focused on destroying things -whether it be a Missile Base or wax candles, they had a unique outlook on life. Of course, neither Squall nor Rinoa wanted to admit the other side of the coin. Like a true child of Irvine, the boys had 'a way' of cheering up Skyler, who happened to be a girl. Squall would let that slide…for now. The last thing the world needed was carbon copies of Irvine; Squall knew there'd be many more lectures in the future.

Although they'd found a positive, it didn't help it in a sea of negative. What Skyler said was difficult for both of them to hear. Rinoa knew that her tears had soaked through Squall's lightweight button-up shirt. As hard as it was to admit, Rinoa mentally conceded that she wasn't in an emotional or physical place to continue tonight. Squall knew this too. She could never repay him for his support, even if he'd gone overboard. He kissed her head, softly whispering for her to go lay down. He'd finish up for the evening, giving everyone her regards. Rinoa knew she was a pathetic mess when Squall Leonhart willingly accepted the role of party host.

Again she went to bed, couldn't slept.

That night Squall asked Quistis and Robert if Skyler could stay over at their place. After all these years he still could feel when something was wrong and the second he opened the bedroom door, Rinoa couldn't hold back. All her compounding emotions came pouring out. It wasn't just Skyler's words, but all the regrets and fears that had been building.

Honesty never went as planned.

She tried to hold herself together, but it became too much. She lashed out when Squall admitted that he'd basically been coaching Skyler from before she could speak. Rinoa felt responsible knowing her own daughter had been censoring part of who she was because she'd been instructed to.

Prior to her husband's rather contrary belief, Rinoa wasn't fragile, nor were her emotions. Yes, she was human, but in some attempt to spare her feelings, their daughter had become collateral damage. And after that it became a two-way street as they put everything on the table. All those things they were afraid to say over the last years suddenly had a voice.

They stayed up all night talking. It wasn't all good, but it wasn't entirely bad because they came to an understanding – one that would be harder on Squall. He'd clung to this ideal of protection for so long, that he was the one that found he needed to learn to let go – history always found a way to repeat itself. The next day was difficult as both sat down with Skyler. Squall admitted to a six-year-old that even parents were human. After Angelo's memorial, this was only the second time that he'd opened up to her. He explained that he'd been wrong, but they'd find a way to grow stronger from the mistakes.

He left for work, having afternoon meetings that he couldn't get out of, but Rinoa was glad. She needed that time with her daughter, no matter how difficult it was. Because it happened - the floodgate had been opened and all the years of questions Skyler had overwhelmed her – from tasting foods to matching socks. Rinoa had heard several of the questions before, but never from her own child.

Later, Squall brought them a late-night treat, a family favorite, Dollet style deep-dish pizza. He'd come home in time for Skyler to bring up her birthday wish. She admitted that she'd always been afraid that her mother couldn't truly love her because she couldn't truly see her. No matter how hard it was for Rinoa to hear, she reminded herself she needed to – it was the only way to put those doubts at rest.

Then Skyler asked something that should've had a simple answer. Should have.

Skyler softy asked, "Do you want to see me?"

That was hard to answer.

Of course she wanted to see her. Rinoa wanted to see everything. Maybe that answer was selfish, but it was the truth. Honestly, no matter how much she'd learned to adjust…there was always the dream of "just one last time."

And now, when she woke up in the middle of the night, she'd add one more regret. It wouldn't be just fireflies, or a shooting star, but it was also be Skyler's wish – to see one last glance, one first glance – of her daughter.

That's why Skyler's question wasn't simple. Would one glance be worth the cost? Would it undo twelve years of darkness and everything she'd built? Rinoa's answer would be as solid as the dark – yes - she'd want to see her daughter and that's exactly what she told her.

…But the darkness doesn't exist without light; without both there would be no contrast – the same held true for good and bad. One glimpse could remind her of her everything she didn't have, and she'd be left with the anger.

That night, Rinoa held on to Squall that night, reflecting on every aspect of her life. However, a bedroom over, Skyler laid in bed thinking of her birthday wish. There was something her father said after Angelo that got her thinking… So, after school she mustered the courage to go to her father's office, something that rarely did. She had to. She couldn't risk her mother overhearing, especially if her dad acted like…well, like her dad could sometimes. The boys were right, he could be…well, a meanie, although she'd never let her parents hear her talk like that. The last thing she remembered before going into the office was the subtle encouragement of her father's assistant, softly wishing her 'good luck.'

Skyler knew that's exactly what she was going to need. Scratch that, not just good luck, but as Grandpa Laguna would say 'great luck!'

-o-o-O-o-o-

Of course, that last part was unknown to Rinoa, but as she sat building a sandcastle on the beach, she wondered if that conversation five months ago led to today. There had been no other plausible explanation as to why after thirty-two years, Squall had drawn a preverbal line in the sand, saying that thirty-three was some magical age where he'd lifted the lifelong ban on celebrating his birthday.

Once everyone arrived, today would also mark the first time in nearly four years that all her closest friends and family found away to get together. Maybe it was because the Squall had this birthday-epiphany and everyone held some unspoken concern about his health. Truthfully, when he said he wanted a party, the thought had briefly crossed her mind, but he assured her otherwise.

It was amazing how everything seemed to fall into place – the planets aligned, the astrological signs were in agreement, and…okay, none of that was true. Still, something happened and it was remarkable, but it had more to do with the time of year. Since it was the end of summer and the kids hadn't gone back to school, it made it easier for a reunion. Selphie, Carl, and the boys took a train from Deling City, while Zell and Alexandra decided to all-too-familiar Galbadia-to-Balamb drive. Even Laguna, Kiros, and Ward flew in from Esthar. Last time most of them had been together was for Alex and Zell's wedding three and half years ago, with a few notable exceptions.

Caraway hadn't gone back then, but oddly even he announced that he'd be showing up at Squall's party. Once Rinoa heard that, she asked again if Squall was sick. He insisted that he wasn't. She then proceeded to ask him about four more times that night…seriously, Fury Caraway was showing up. Ten years of marriage and the relationship between Squall and her father was rather…interesting. Every so often, they'd do this testosterone-finger pointing thing. A few years ago, Rinoa finally figured it out – that was their weird way being…well, not friends, but something like it. It worked for them, just not the rest of normal society.

But besides Caraway, there had been one very important person missing four years ago, one person who they were all grateful to see today…

Ellone.

It had been her story that had become the hardest to tell. After the years of school, internships, and residency, she received her medical degree. Nobody was surprised as Ellone embodied tenacity; her resolve spoke volumes to her character. It was also to nobody's surprised that she'd chosen pediatrics as her specialty, given her penchant for taking care of the orphanage gang. She eventually became part of a small practice outside of Esthar City, but two years later, her life changed.

After becoming engaged, she found that she couldn't conceive children of her own. With extensive testing, a team of doctors and scientists found how far the effects of her 'gift' had gone. She was slowly weakening; her body didn't have the same resistance that a 'proper' sorceress would. Ellone was forced to give up work; her life seemed to be in a state of constant limbo. She and her now-husband were arriving later tonight. Truthfully, everyone was probably more exciting to see her than to see Squall, but he was honestly all right with that.

Rinoa wondered if somewhere in the back of Squall's head he worried that this might be the last time they'd all be together and maybe that's why the sudden change of heart. It was one of those things that had been left unsaid. Rinoa wanted to take this day for everything that it was, rather than dwelling on the 'what ifs.'

Today wasn't about those regrets.

It was about birthdays, celebrations, family, and friends.

…And, it was about the sandcastles.

Scoping out another perfect handful of sand, she placed it into a smaller size bucket. She was ready to begin construction on the outer wall, the point where she needed her assistants. Turning towards the ocean, she wondered where everyone had disappeared too – basically everyone she had conveniently gone AWOL. Maybe it was an overstatement, but if she was the type to be paranoid, she'd think they'd purposely left her behind. Of course they wouldn't leave her, but Squall did say he'd be back in ten minutes - thirty minutes ago. Then again, this wasn't completely unprecedented. When she'd first met him, he'd do the same thing; ironically, that had been done on purpose. He'd admitted later that he'd been unable to come to terms with several things (herself included) and distance was a defense – much like the battlement and outer walls of the castle currently under construction.

She listened in the sea of noise for someone familiar. Most of the sounds she heard were new; she was used to living in the perpetual state of change. She'd come to think that hearing, like all her other senses, was a living entity that constantly changed, shaped by its surroundings.

Then again, the only thing she'd learned over the last twelve years was never expect the expected. All of a sudden she was bombarded by four kids. Honestly, Skyler and the three boys had actually been oddly quiet; they must've planned their attack.

Zell was the first familiar person who spoke. "How's our lead architect?"

"About to be fired, but now that her construction crew showed up, maybe they can save day." Rinoa laughed as Skyler leaned against her back, wrapping her arms around her neck.

"Sandcastle construction…that's the main reason I had kids," Squall chimed in, moving beside her. Even though he acted uninterested, she knew that he'd already started making structural improvements. The imperfections bothered him the most, hence why they'd dubbed him the un-official building inspector of the family.

Squall's words had taken a second to sink in, but once they did, she playfully tapped him on what she hoped was his bicep. "Squall…um, unless there's something you need to tell me, I mean really need to tell me, we only have one child."

As if on cue, Zell started arguing with Conner. "Hey! That's mine, give it back."

"Gotta catch me first."

It wasn't in the martial artist's nature to allow challenges to go un-accepted, so he ran after him.

"Oh." She laughed knowingly. "Wait, since he's married now, doesn't the whole custody thing transfer over to Alex?"

"Apparently, we need to look into that." Squall looked over to the coffee shop across from the beach. He could make out some of the group who had opted for a less sandy afternoon. "Alex is up there with Laguna, maybe they're bonding over child support issues."

Irvine, Selphie, and Carl had the unfortunate timing to walk up during that comment, but wisely decided not to respond. At least Laguna's granddaughter was oblivious to the dig. The relationship between father and son had improved some, but Rinoa knew long ago it would always be strained.

"Be nice," she warned, shaking her head.

"So, can I do the moat!?" Selphie jumped in enthusiastically, expertly changing the subject. "And boys, be nice to Uncle Zell…and get back over here! This is going to be the best sandcastle yet for your collection!"

"Collection?" Carl asked cautiously. The normally reserved man felt out of place with the group, but he did his best to fit in as any outsider would.

Skyler had let go of her mother, doing her part to help. "Yeah, my mother is the Princess of Castles."

In fact, the little girl had envied her mother's prowess so much that she'd proclaimed her "Castle Princess." Rinoa always thought it was funny the difference context made; she'd refuted the term as teenager but, in this case, Rinoa wore it as a badge of honor. The little girl had said it innocently one summer and that little gem of a nickname caught on, never to be let go…thanks to the persistence of Uncle Irvine. Squall, being Squall, had to be difficult, questing how the chain of command worked for sandcastle royalty, apparently upset about being snubbed during the process.

"…Oh, okay." Poor Carl was lost; Rinoa took pity on him, offering a brief explanation.

"Usually when Skyler and Squall are out in the water, I build the basic part of the castles. When they show up on dry land, we finish the rest as a group. Skyler finds sticks and shells and such and is in charge of the aesthetics and landscaping, Squall fixes all my mistakes and moans about being shafted from the title of King."

Never once would Rinoa believe her lot in life would've been building sandcastles, but she wouldn't trade this ability for the world.

"Then we take a picture when it's done. We have a collection at home!" Skyler announced proudly. "I have them all on my bulletin board."

Rinoa shrugged. "It's a tradition we just sort of fell into."

"I didn't know you had pictures on your wall. That's awesome sauce!"

"Yes, Selphie, Awesome Sauce made from sun-ripened Awesomes," Squall droned.

Rinoa knew that he was doing his best to be sociable; once his social circle rose above three people, he often started becoming irritable. Again, she found herself warning him, but this time with a laugh in her voice.

"Be nice."

Still, Rinoa would give him credit for today – this remained an unprecedented step for him. She still couldn't believe that not only agreed to a party, but organized it.

"Yeah, Squall play well with others or we'll stick Rin on you and-" Irvine stopped abruptly. "Hey, I'm going to go grab something to drink."

There was a strange silence among the group. Selphie stood up as Rinoa had heard her brushing the sand from her body. "Oooo, a drink sounds good, come on Carl. Let's go."

"That was weird. Do you have any idea what that was about?"

"No. No I don't." His voice was distant. "Why don't you watch the kids, I'll check it out."

Before Rinoa could protest, she was the sole supervisor of four rather rambunctious construction workers. There was something off about this entire day.

Now, if she could only figure out what that was…


	3. Act III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things. First, small timeline shift....and all of a sudden, I'm singing the phrase _"let's do the time warp again"_ which has nothing to do with anything right now. My brain. It scares me.
> 
> **The New Year's Eve party and resulting 'epic toothpick battle' (tm@patent pending. Kidding. Kidding. XD) needed to be moved to July. Counting to nine is difficult for me! However, I actually managed to work the the change in easily. Trust me, when Selphie's involved, you can make a July New Year's Even party VERY logical. I've re-posted chapter one on here with the changes; however, if it's easier, I have the part up at the
> 
> [Ashbear Community on Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashbear/140175139374301)
> 
> . It's the update that says "Updated Sandcastles" posted on May 24th. :D I have to admit, I had a lot of fun with that and somewhere that will show up again, whether it be in the Selphie Letters or Dancing in Time/Endless Waltz. :D :D :D
> 
> Also, I decided to include the timeline I use for quick reference, if anyone is interested. It helps keeping things straight when I'm writing. 
> 
> **Sandcastles Time Line**
> 
> Ages: Rinoa 32 / Squall 33 (on his birthday) - Skyler 6
> 
> 15 Years ago met / Game – Each17 Years old  
> 14 Years ago Rinoa left / misunderstanding  
> 13 Years ago accident  
> 12 Years ago - represents when I wrote Castles.  
> 10 Years ago Married on beach  
> 9 Years ago Ellone graduated Med School  
> 9 Years – COLTON (Nine years 11 months)  
> 9 Years – COOPER(Nine years 1 week)  
> 8 Years – CONNER (Eight years 3 weeks)  
> 8 Years ago Quistis and Robert married  
> 7 Years ago Toothpick Battle on "New Year's Eve" (**July)  
> 7 Years ago Ellone became ill  
> 6 Years ago Skyler was born / Zell made promise to Ma  
> 4 Years ago Ma passed away / Zell meet Alex  
> 3.5 Year ago Zell moved to Galbadia – Married  
> 3 Years ago Squall was promoted to Headmaster  
> 2 Years ago Selphie and Irvine divorced  
> 14 Months ago Angelo passed away  
> 2 Months ago Selphie became Engaged to Carl  
> \+ 3 Months until Alex / Zell's first is born – she's 6 months pregnant

He wouldn't say that this wasn't difficult; he wouldn't say that he didn't have doubts for more than one reason. He wouldn't say a lot of things, yet whatever words he _would say_ …well, he hoped that he'd find them soon, because it had already been done.

Carefully, as not to wake her, he sat on the edge of the bed. After spending the day at the beach and this evening at his party, Rinoa had been exhausted. She'd fallen asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow, but not him – he'd never been so lucky.

A sigh of exhaustion escaped his lips as he briefly closed his eyes. When he opened them again, it was still there on his nightstand. _Somehow_ , it defied all logical explanation as _**it**_ stared back at him, taunting him…. Fine, maybe it wasn't exactly possible to enter into a legitimate staring contest with a glass of water, but he wasn't about to nitpick the details, especially when he couldn't declare the winner with absolute certainty.

The truth was - all he could think about was how history often felt like it was repeating itself, especially today. Small things, larger things, or some things, like twelve years ago, when everything came down to a glass of water. Okay, not precisely the same thing, but there were enough similarities to make him stop and blink, current situation notwithstanding. Years ago, Rinoa had asked him for help getting a drink from the bathroom. The request however, went beyond its obvious meaning. It hadn't been about just help. Reading between the lines, her words ran so much deeper. That glass of water had served as a catalyst to _their future and their lives_ together.

Back then, Rinoa Heartilly had made a decision - in his bathroom of all places. She'd asked for help so that he'd remain a part of her life. Today, he was the one who had asked for help – not from her, but from those closest to them. Rinoa had always had been part of their lives, but Squall had learned that sometimes in life a positive reminder was a good thing.

As the glass continued to taunt him, he hoped that this really turned out to be a positive, _good thing._ That question could be answered with the water on his nightstand and the pills in his hand.

Squall wasn't like his wife, not to say that she didn't have her bouts of insomnia too but, if her body was truly exhausted, she'd fall asleep immediately. _Not him_. In fact, many nights he couldn't say if he'd slept at all. And of all nights, he knew that tonight's sleep wouldn't come easily…or naturally. Nothing about this plan had been easy. He'd asked too many people for help, including Dr. Kadowaki.

Thankfully, the doctor remained part-time at the infirmary and, like many past Garden employees, "retire" was simply a word in the dictionary rather than an actual concept. Kadowaki had cut her workload drastically, twenty or so hours a week, but Squall was thankful she didn't leave completely. Honestly, turned out the doctor was as stubborn as he was.

It hadn't been easy, but he reluctantly explained the situation. Unfortunately, Kadowaki had also got him to admit that his insomnia was a full-time occurrence. But right now, he was only worried about falling asleep tonight – _and_ _only tonight_. Of course, it was her job to be concerned about every other night, adamantly saying it needed to be looked into. However, that suggestion was cataloged with the hundreds of others she'd made over the years – other suggestions that he'd flat-out ignored.

And yes, it bothered him on every level to use a sleeping pill, but it was the exception to the rule. In fact, before he'd even taken the medicine, he already knew that he'd taken it. How? Well, that was a tad more complicated…

It had started on April 10th, the day after his daughter's birthday. Skyler had never liked going into his office; like everyone else there, students and instructors alike, she found that 'Squall the Headmaster' was a rather imposing figure. She much preferred 'Squall the Dad' - the person only she knew.

To Squall, making the transformation from _Headmaster_ to _Dad_ was one of the most difficult aspects of fatherhood. There was a ridged intensity that had been instilled in him and switching between those roles had been a constant battle. He often had the same problem with Rinoa but, being an adult, she understood and when he'd get that way, she'd give him a playful tap on the arm, informing him that he was being the ultimate meanie. However, Skyler had a harder time understanding and, more than once, he'd treated her like a SeeD cadet rather than a daughter. He'd improved in time, _sort of_ , but, more often than he cared to admit, he found that the title of 'ultimate meanie' belonged solely to him.

So when Skyler came up to his office, the visit was unexpected to say the least. In fact, when his assistant first phoned, Squall thought he'd misheard and wasn't entirely sure until he saw her walk through the door.

…But when she did walk through, there was something very different about her. In fact, everything about her showed the ridged intensity that was usually associated with him. Without saying a word, she kept up the all-business attitude as she looked directly into his eyes.

It was… _unnerving._

Skyler wasn't in SeeD or even a student at Garden but, in that minute, she looked every bit the cadet. Sitting down, she remained steadfast in her stern expression. There was no softness to her eyes, no smile on her face – almost a carbon-copy of himself. _**That stung.**_ It bothered him on a far-deeper level than he would've thought.

"I was thinking about our night at the beach. You know, with Angelo." With the mention of the family's late four-legged best friend, the tears began to well. She desperately tried to fight it - and in that minute – she looked every bit her mother.

"Your point?"

…And there it was, 'Headmaster Squall' aka 'Ultimate Meanie Supreme'.

Short. Abrupt. Indifferent. As always, the response slipped out because of habit.

He wouldn't allow himself to become that heartless. With the hint of a smile, he tried another approach. "Sky, come here. Please?"

Taking a breath, she debated whether or not to go, but the fact that she was still a six year old, wanting to be with her dad, outweighed any newfound independence. As she walked around his desk, he extended his hand out to her. There wasn't even the slightest bit of hesitation as she grabbed it, climbing her way up onto his lap.

"So, what about the beach?"

"…You said you saw mom and mom saw you. I mean, after the car accident and all."

"It's complicated. Remember how I've talked about the 'gift' Aunt Ellone had before she became sick? I didn't _**see**_ mom as much as we were connected…like I said, it's _complicated_."

"Nothing is complicated. Uncle Zell says that the best way to figure something out is to take it apart and then put it back together…then you understand it."

"I understand that's why we don't let Uncle Zell near the toaster. But Skyler, some things don't work the same after they've been taken apart, even if you do manage to get them back together. This goes triple if your Uncle Zell is involved." He paused, before adding under his breath. "…And I really liked that toaster."

She laughed. "I know! Dad, you mention it every time your toast burns! But about Aunt Ellone…maybe this is really simple and it's not hard. Who knows? Maybe the doctor's put her together enough so she can do it one more time. She can be our toaster before Uncle Zell messed with it."

"Skyler, I would've asked Aunt Ellone the day you were born if it had been possible. It's just-"

"Complicated," she finished for him. "I know… _everything_ is complicated to you. But, um, isn't like eating slightly-burnt toast better than not having any at all, right?"

Squall didn't explain that the toaster Zell had dissected on a whim had actually been thrown out, much like the martial artist's open-ended invitation to babysit. The headmaster had no intention of replacing every appliance that became Mr. Know-it-All's unfortunate prey. The man's inexplicable need to dismember, or rather disassemble, all things electrical was really quite disturbing. On top of that, Squall wasn't entirely sure what Skyler's 'burnt toast' comment meant.

Appliances aside, he had to deal with other issues, ones that weren't metaphors, such as his daughter's heartache. He'd witnessed the very second she became defeated, her loss becoming his. Inside, he knew that this was an uphill battle, one that he believed Skyler had been fighting for quite some time – her birthday wish had been a dead giveaway. For someone who took after her mother, vibrant and carefree, Squall had never seen her so pained. Twenty seconds after telling her no, he was already accepting blame. Even worse, he couldn't shake their conversation in the kitchen; if he compiled that with this new guilt, well, it felt as if something was slowly clawing away at him from the inside out.

Squall Leonhart - Balamb's Headmaster, Sorceress' Knight, and even world savior…none of those titles mattered because - _as dad_ \- he felt helpless. He _was_ helpless. It wasn't as if Skyler had been some child heiress who came in here and demanded to have a new pony or a one-of-a-kind outfit important from Esthar. No, she wanted one thing – a chance for her mother to see her for just a few seconds.

She was hurting and, as cliché as it was, he was hurting with her.

He tried offering comfort, but was clueless how to go about it. Maybe that's why she left his office soon after. When the _Kinneasi clan_ offered better reassurance, well, it became an even harder pill to swallow. When the door closed, Squall became painfully aware that he'd singlehandedly shattered the hope and determination his daughter had walked in with.

Even after she left, what he felt as a father remained behind…

And weeks later, Squall hadn't let it go.

He'd tried. And he tried…

Still, there was something haunting about his daughter's eyes. Maybe the guilt ran deeper than just saying no to her. He'd guarded this secret, but it had always bothered him that the last time Rinoa 'saw' him was in connection to the accident, that everything had been rooted in mistakes and misunderstandings. Squall wished that Rinoa's last sight of him had been something different, maybe even mundane like sharing a dance, a dinner date, or walking on the beach. Instead, everything had been connected to her leaving him, and Garden, because of his inability to open up.

That regret had been his alone and he never wanted to impose on Ellone. Rinoa never brought it up. Maybe it owed to her optimism, maybe she saw it as hope or mending fences – or maybe, _just maybe_ , she'd been waiting for a good reason, _an amazing reason_ , like the birth of their child, but by then, the window had closed as Ellone no longer been capable.

That would be another of Squall's regrets, although not fully realized yet. It was hard to accept the illness, although he needed to as the truth was growing more inevitable. But he checked on Ellone often, even more so since she'd been given _months_ rather than _years_. The calls were made late at night from his office so nobody would overhear. It was either a knight's duty or human nature, but he felt this innate need to shield Rinoa and Skyler from as much of the pain as possible, even if that meant absorbing the brunt of it himself. It was possible that he was doing the same thing with Ellone's health as he had Rinoa's blindness, but he refused to let his daily check-ups be a painful reminder to the rest of his family.

But it was during one of those constant check-ups when it happened.

When he called that night, he had no idea. The weight of everything had collapsed and everything that had been building up finally found a way to fall. He and Ellone had finally spoken, not about superficial things like the weather or movies – they'd _really_ talked. It was about everything and anything - that's the way he'd come to remember it. Squall wasn't used to conversations that lasted over three minutes but, for a single instance, a conversation that spanned hours felt entirely natural. He told her things like how Skyler had come to his office and even about secret birthday wishes.

That night, it all would change because Ellone _wanted_ it to – her last gift to them.

Before talking to Squall, Elle talked to her husband and Laguna. They understood. It was her nature to give selflessly. She wanted to be the author of her own story, even if the only way for it to end was tragically and, the time she had left, was hers to give. She didn't mind sacrificing months for memories that would stay with her family for a lifetime. When Ellone finally told Squall, he adamantly said no, but she managed to convince him. That being said, there were a few limitations like she was too weak to travel to far back. She couldn't show Rinoa her wedding or even Skyler's birth. Plus, Squall would've already known if they'd gone back - he certainly hadn't recalled having any _so-called_ fairies on those days - butterflies, nerves, and, yes, a whole bunch of doubts, but no _fairies_.

When he spoke to Ellone last month, he knew that _if_ it was going to happen, it hadn't happened yet. It was either that or Squall hadn't been the vessel and, after quietly (and awkwardly) asking around, it seemed as if nobody else had been either.

It was then decided that Ellone would travel to Balamb as having everyone together would be easier, plus the guise of having a birthday party worked perfectly. Fine, technically, it _was_ a party, so it really didn't qualify as 'a guise' but Squall wasn't going to argue about the semantics for once. Still, it meant that he'd have to grin and bear it, knowing his lifelong birthday party ban was just collateral damage to their scheme. If it worked, Elle could connect them to the _not-too-distant_ past, half a day at most. Squall asked to have Rinoa see through his eyes – and for someone who'd spent hours in his thoughts, he realized that having his wife in his head could've been utterly terrifying, and yet he was strangely at peace with it. Oddly, that part was a hell of a lot easier than having a birthday party

Then again, maybe Ellone and Skyler's excitement had something to do with it. Squall hadn't seen his sister this happy in so long; it had given her a spark of life. Since leaving work, she'd been missing a sense of purpose. That's the moment Squall knew that this was truly the right choice, not only for his immediate family, but for Ellone… _especially_ for Ellone.

That is, if this all worked out…

The plan was set in motion, Rinoa honestly believing it was simply a party for Squall. Of course, that statement alone would have made anybody skeptical, but maybe she figured that this was Ellone's last chance to celebrate with him, a final chance for everyone to be together. Squall believed that his wife had resigned herself to that fact. Unfortunately, if that's what Rinoa believed, she'd also been absolutely correct. That first night on the phone, Squall made a promise to Ellone that he'd do his best not to dwell on the negative.

The plan was simple. That night Ellone would connect Rinoa to him and she'd see through his eyes that day. Edea and Ellone had talked about it as well and they believed that if Squall and Rinoa were close enough physically, like sharing their bed, the bond between Sorceress and Knight would be a needed boost. Ellone could connect both of them at the same time, to the same person. Of course, Squall didn't want to think about that too much, as there was something inherently wrong about connecting _**yourself**_ to _**yourself**_ …especially with your wife in tow.

Staying true to his promise, he was doing his best not to focus on the negative. Not to mention, over thinking semantics had always been his downfall. Trying to explain the unexplainable – like the sorceress-knight-bond, time compression, Ellone's gift, or anything else that attempted to bend or defy reality, usually resulted in a rather spectacular migraine.

And for her, he needed to be alert as he didn't want Rinoa to do this alone. She'd emotionally need a guide and he certainly wasn't going to task Zell or Irvine to be her co-pilot on this journey; he loved her more than that. Plus there was a question of sanity. _His_ _._ Frankly, he didn't want either of those two poking around his mind or anybody else for that matter.

Joking aside, it might have been pure selfishness, but he _**needed**_ to be the one there. Ellone believed that she could take them to a plane before they became connected to him earlier. Going by his description from fifteen years ago, Ellone feared that this plane might be a nothingness – almost an equivalent to time-compression, but Sorceress and Knight would be bonded – neither would be alone. Ellone had managed to do it at the hospital after the accident. Given the bizarre circumstances surrounding that, it had come off as more of a dream that both Rinoa and Squall had repressed until those memories had been called on. This would be totally different.

The imagery would be vivid and they'd both remember immediately after waking up. Yes, it was technically the past, but again, it was close enough to the present that it would allow for a stronger connection because of their boost. And yes, this is exactly why he avoided this shit. It was all so confusing but, if Rinoa could see today, the 'how' wasn't important, only the end resulted mattered.

That brought him back to tonight, to this moment. Sitting there, he stared at the pills in his hand, finally admitting to himself that he _**was**_ selfish but, maybe in this case, selfish was good.

 _ **He**_ _wanted_ to see her there.

 _ **He**_ _wanted_ to experience that moment when she saw him.

Most of all, _**he**_ _wanted_ to be there when she first laid eyes on Skyler.

He wouldn't be able to see her expression but he knew he'd feel it. Once they went back to earlier today, they'd be disembodied voices. Thankfully, without heads and, well… _everything else_ , they'd still able to communicate with one another, while watching through his past self's eyes.

…Gah, again, the less he thought about it, the better he was.

However, there was something he knew at this point: it worked or at least partially. _Someone_ was in head earlier as he'd _felt_ the intruding presence, not that he could hear or understand, thankfully. The fear that Ellone could've missed was disturbing. Seriously, if Irvine and Zell were the passengers trapped in there…

…Just no. That thought was so utterly terrifying he hoped that it could be completely eradicated from his mind before he started to dream.

One other thing that was vital to him, probably above all else, was that Rinoa needed to give permission before Ellone connected them. This was important to him; personally, he couldn't imagine seeing life for a few brief, fleeting minutes before it was ripped away. Tomorrow morning, she'd wake to the darkness again. If he was being honest, he knew Rinoa well enough – he already knew her answer. If he didn't, then he wouldn't be here, but that was part of his uncertainty. He could've asked her ahead of time, _maybe he should've_ , but he viewed this as a crapshoot. If it had failed, he worried about her disappointment and he'd already have to deal with Skyler's. Not to mention so much of this had always been linked to Ellone's health.

Reaching over, he picked up the glass on his nightstand, still not happy about resorting to medication.

Could he have used magic? _Maybe_. A Sleep spell would've been enough, but there had been known issues with mixing magic sources in the past. It was rare, but it was documented, and they'd most likely have one chance at this – it wasn't worth the risk. Not tonight. In the past, Ellone hadn't needed them to be asleep, she could make them fall into a trance on her own, but that took too much strength, strength that Ellone no longer possessed.

No more worrying. No more regrets.

He tossed the pills into his mouth and downed the glass of water. He laid there thinking for the next few minutes as it was so easy to second-guess when it was too late. The biggest question on his mind - what if they were all making a mistake? And was it really them in his head earlier? What if he was right and it was some random combination of people?

What if it really _was_ Irvine and Zell...? Or someone worse? A student, a stranger, or hell, the cashier in the cafeteria or even Maude McCay and...shit. By happenstance, and fate's morose sense of humor, that turned out to be his last thought before falling asleep.

**-o-o-O-o-o-**

There was something _different_ when she woke up.

It was distant; it was familiar, but…wait, woke up? No, she wasn't awake (yes? no?) but it didn't feel like a dream she was…her mind was... _hazy? Lucid_? Cold, warm, awake, asleep – every thought was a paradox.

No, she definitely wasn't asleep, but not quite awake.

It didn't matter how many years had passed, this part of her routine hadn't changed since being a teenager. She'd wake up, silently cursing the alarm clock's existence, mentally calculate the allotted times the 'snooze button' could be pressed safely (…then add one more) and, when all else failed, she'd conjure that last ounce of strength that allowed her to pry open her eyes. The ability to see made no difference; it had simply been the act, her body's routine. She considered opening her eyes the first _real_ step towards daily consciousness – however, steps two through ten, involved coffee or some other strongly-caffeinated beverage.

In the last thirteen years, the landscape hadn't changed. Eyes open or closed, she only saw darkness.

But not today.

Today when she opened her eyes she saw…gray. ( _fog. haze. familiarity?_ ) Her body was wrought with emptiness. Her mind was bombarded with emotions, thoughts, memories… _?_ The sensation had been nothing ( _everything)_ all at once. She felt trapped in the walls of another paradox – equally recognizable and unfamiliar. Where was she? ( _before. she'd been here. no. she_ _ **was**_ _here._ ) She walked, but no matter how many steps, the landscape remained standing still. She wasn't hallucinating ( _before. bright lights. hospital. yes. she'd been here_ ) and it was no dream.

It wasn't an optical illusion, but what she saw before her was dotted with glimpses of familiarity.

"…Squall?" His name rolled off her tongue.

Saying the word brought comfort or maybe it was just to feign sanity. She didn't even know if she expected a response but, like opening her eyes, the act of whispering his name had become a habit.

But expecting one or not, she received a response...

"I'm here."

"Oh." Her answer made no sense in context, then again, she had no idea what the context _was_ , let alone understand how to respond – maybe she really wasn't sane. Finally, it felt like her mind had begun to focus, although her heart continued begging for her to remember. At least the haziness was fading, and what was left in its wake was an amazingly-lucid dream.

"I'm sorry, Rinoa…"

There was something in his tone. Fear? Why was he scared? If this was some sort of cogent dream, why would her mind make him so uncertain and apologetic? The only thing she could think was that she was projecting her own fears onto him.

"Squall…" This time she spoke louder. "Where are you?"

"I'm here."

"Yeah. Great. You've already said that." Rinoa sighed.

 _This_ is what she deserved for spending too many hours on the beach. The sun had fried her brain just as it had fried Zell's skin. Of course, she couldn't see the martial artist's burn, though the names _lobster-boy_ and _tomato-man_ had been tossed around freely. At one point, she'd helped him apply suntan lotion and could've sworn that she'd heard a slight 'sizzle' as the lotion met his skin. Ha - maybe she'd start calling him Bacon Boy, but he'd probably find way too much satisfaction in that – maybe enough so that he'd consider getting it embroidered on jacket or something. She snickered to herself; with the new baby on the way, she could get a itsy-bitsy infant-sized matching t-shirt that said 'bacon bit.'

Oh yeah, much like Zell's new moniker, her mind was bacon.

That had to be why her brain's version of Squall was as vaguely-obtuse as the original one. Seriously, "I'm here" was a touching and poignant sentiment fifteen years ago. However, while trying to navigate _blindly_ through a dream - _slight_ pun intended – generic, non-helpful answers were a tad annoying.

 **New life rule** : when hallucinating or caught in a temporal abyss, vague answers had been officially banned (much like Zell's T-board by the Garden Faculty… or all ballet/men-in-tights jokes made by Irvine).

 **Addendum to new rule:** from this day henceforth, all comforting sentiments from Squall 2.0 had to be specific, including GPS-like directions.

While "I'm waiting" was still an amazingly-sweet response, she wanted sweet and practical such as, "I'll be waiting… two steps forward and then stay left at the fork in the mist. Your knight will be on your left."

"Seriously," she began sarcastically, "if I figure out how to take control over this dream, we're doing a U-turn. I'm _so_ going to picture you as a matador with tons of bejeweled crystals – you'll have enough bling that Adel would've seen you from space…and Seifer would've called you sequin boy. It's either that or you'll be in one of those skimpy-leave-nothing-to-the-imagination bathing suits some guys wear. Your choice."

Dream or no dream, she still wasn't a morning person as some things never changed, much like her irritation – a trait shared with her husband.

"Rinoa…I…I don't know how to respond to that." There was a slight pause. "I guess you'll be disappointed since I went with blue jeans and a polo top…it has an embroidered badger on the pocket. Does that count as _bling_?" The word sounded oddly forced coming from his mouth. Thankfully, he couldn't recall a time in thirty-three years that he'd had occasion to use the word bling _._

She couldn't help it, her Squall projection made her smile. She continued following her knight's voice and, it guided her just like…there it was again. An intense pang of familiarity. It was nagging at her, something wasn't right. Like why would dream Squall talk about a badger shirt? Maybe it was because she recalled him wearing one at his party.

Over the years, he'd always used Badger-Brand oil, which was specifically designed for gunblades, and Skyler adored their mascot Bob the Honey Badger. In fact, she'd loved him so much that she'd begged Squall into ordering her a stuffed Bob the Bad-Badger to go along with poor ol' Lucky the Lopsided Chocobo and a yet to be nicknamed plush Cactuar. Skyler, being Skyler, somehow talked her father into ordering a navy blue "Bob" polo shirt for himself. Squall picking that shirt out for tonight's celebration had been just one of the evening's surprises — namely because he detested most things small and fuzzy. The memories of George the Squall-hating Ferret still lived on in infamy. And although ferrets and badgers were nothing alike, Squall pretty much loathed any small, four-legged mammal with teeth.

Why, with a lifetime of memories, had she thought about that? Actually, it felt as if her entire mindset had been returned to that time – back to when she'd first met George Dincht. Or as her then-boyfriend, now-husband, liked to call him, _George_ _the_ _Dumb-Ass Ferret (_ _Squall had always been creatively-challenged when it came to nicknames)._ It still made her smile though - her poor knight, forced to spend the subsequent years being an extremely-unimpressed, Squall-flavored ferret chew toy.

Wow, those days now felt like a whirlwind. She remembered how confusing it all was; how she and Squall had finally worked out their differences. How the night before…

That had been the catalyst and it came flooding back. Her memories. The familiarity. Being here before, with Squall. Everything. Just everything. It became painfully beautiful…

"Oh my God…" she gasped, her legs turning to jelly. She knew this. She knew all of _this_. She'd also known why she'd been drawn to those memories. It hadn't been about unruly ferrets or grumpy boyfriends. Thankfully, the sound of Squall's voice suddenly grounded her.

"Don't turn around." His words were resolute, but held a vulnerability.

And, as he walked behind her, Rinoa felt an inner conflict waging. There was a part of him that wanted to remain firm and with a purpose, but he felt emotionally malleable. Of all she'd experienced since waking up here, Squall Leonhart had proved to be the largest paradox. He'd intentionally kept his distance; he wanted her to put the pieces together on her own, reaching the conclusion by herself.

"Rinoa, listen to me - I want you to be okay with this. Whatever you decide, it can't be done in haste. I need you to be sure of the choice because once it's done, there's honestly no return. What I, _what we_ , can offer you is the next few minutes. It's not a lifetime. So, I need you to be sure that this is what's truly best for you."

Her tears had been flowing on their own accord. She was being given a choice - a few minutes for possibly a lifetime of regrets. One of the most chilling thoughts was what it cost just to be here. There'd already been a sacrifice – and it wasn't made by her or Squall.

"How?" She choked out, one step away from becoming a blubbering mass. "Why now? She's-"

"Not well." He finished for her. It was better to say it under his terms rather than hear it in hers. "She's losing time. Nobody can say how much."

There had been no guarantees and connecting others took stamina – it had nearly wiped out Ellone during Ultimecia. Still, if there'd been a chance, Rinoa knew the young woman would grab it. Unlike Squall, Ellone _wasn't_ conflicted.

He struggled with the words. "…But she wanted this or I wouldn't be here. Rinoa, this is her gift to us…but, if you don't believe-"

No, she did believe. So much so that she refused to let him finish that thought. Tomorrow be damned. Yes, the consequences may be scarring, but _the now_ belonged to them. She needed to see. She needed t **o** rediscover some parts of her life, while discovering others. She vowed to imprint each sight into its own memory and burn every color into a canvas of darkness. Even the gray nothingness that surrounded them was far from nothing, it was all part of Ellone's gift to them.

"… _if you don't believe-"_

She _did_ believe, which was why her heart screamed louder than any voice. Turning around, she saw...

His eyes.

They were…heaven, the moon, the stars, every poetic cliché and overdone prose she'd ever found herself giggling at. Honestly, she would've been mocking herself if she hadn't been the one experiencing the deluge of emotion. She didn't care if she sounded like the worst greeting card poem ever composed, because it was all true. Seeing his eyes was _everything._

Twelve years ago, she'd found him on this plane. No matter how trite it sounded, time could mend wounds, but never completely heal them. Once she'd waded through the false memories, Squall was the one standing there. He told her that he'd always be there…and he'd found away to keep his promise.

Minutes ago, she'd scoffed at his tired response…but now, hearing it everything changed.

" _You're here_."

"I am."

"I-I don't. I can't," she choked out incoherently. So much for an eloquent response, she'd become the blubbering fool after all. If that's what it took so she could mesmerize everything about him. So be it.

She noticed he wasn't that teenager anymore, he was… "You're old."

He pressed his lips together in thinly-veiled smile. "I guess this wouldn't be the time for to mention that you're old too."

She laughed. _This_ felt natural. He'd taken a step forward, offering his hand. As she accepted, it was all she could do not to fall into his arms, but she wouldn't. No. As safe as it had become, she wanted to see him. For once in her life, she wanted the distance between them.

Rinoa knew that this was difficult for him as he still found intense, highly emotionally-charged situations uncomfortable. And yes, he was older, but he also was that beautiful teenager under it all. The comparison wasn't about looks, rather about spirit - who he was inside.

Still, she returned to what had drawn him to her in the first place, his eyes.

They hadn't changed. It was like looking into a mirror to the past. They were the same ones he'd tried to hide behind that first night in the ballroom. The ones he tried to conceal all his passion behind; the ones that she looked into when he surrendered to his emotions on a balcony. She'd replayed those memories so many times. They had been a daily part of her existence for years, filling up the hours of darkness. They were the memories that had grounded her for so long. Now, no matter what happened tomorrow, she'd be able to add another memory alongside them.

It went against everything screaming inside but, to take everything in, she needed to step back. She noticed that his hair had actually become darker, probably from spending less time in the sun…. or maybe it was age or genetics or…never mind. She had no idea _why_ it was. It simply was. She couldn't get caught up on the little things now; every second was a gift.

No matter the _whats_ or _whys_ , she'd catalog the little things, remembering them from now on. Her hand snaked its way over his chest until she could touch his face. Although she did that often, she used her sense of touch as a way to recall every facial feature, every laugh-line, every blemish, and each perfect-imperfection.

It had been a battle, but she forced herself to look away from his face and see the rest of his body. Ironically, as a teenager, she remembered that in a hormonal-fueled need, she spent a rather unhealthy amount of time studying his build. Now that she was on borrowed time, she wanted to see nothing more than his face – but he was more than that. So she studied him, taking a mental picture that would have to last a lifetime.

She had to smile when she finally saw Bob the Badger. Of all the things he could've worn, she now understood why he picked what seemed the most unlikely. It wasn't just for her it was for…

"Skyler…" The voice didn't sound her own as she rasped out. So much for her earlier promise of keeping her distance as she feel into his arms. Even so, she wouldn't close her eyes. That's the one thing she wouldn't do.

He whispered in her ear. "We need to go. I don't know how long we have."

"Squall, I'm-"

"She's terrified too," he wasn't trying to cut her off, but she had the ability to talk herself into worrying. "Rinoa, this was her idea. It's time to be as strong as she is."

"How?"

He was hesitant to answer. It would only end up being counterproductive. Plus, thanks to Rinoa, he'd learned that the path to discovery was also an important part of the journey. Of course, if she ever thought he'd be using that against her, she probably would've taught that lesson in another way.

Leaning down, he softly kissed the top of her head. He couldn't answer her directly, but he could still be mysterious. "Rin, have you ever wondered what it was like to be a fairy? If so, call me your knight in shining fairy wings, because I'm about to make that dream a very-real reality. Well, sort of." He called out, "Ready, Elle."

Rinoa's mouth had fallen open because, well…what was her husband drinking? She wasn't even able to speak before the scenery around her had suddenly changed. What had been gray, void of any defining features, had transformed into sand and sea - an entire scene popped up around her, complete with people lounging on beach towels to seagulls in the air.

She was walking. _Correction,_ somebody was walking. She'd describe it as watching a movie where only certain senses were germane. She couldn't feel, yet she saw the wind - the kites in the distance confirming it. Just like there'd been heat - half of Balamb's population was either clad in bathing suits or hats. She could hear everything but, most importantly, she _saw_ everything. She saw the world around her, even the seemingly-insignificant details like dragon-shaped kites and oversized straw hats.

…Then, it clicked.

This wasn't random. She knew _precisely_ where she was and whose eyes she was seeing through - Squall's. As bizarre and wrong as it sounded, it was not some tired metaphor along the lines of 'walking a mile in Squall's shoes' or 'seeing his point of view' that she was tossing around.

No, she'd meant it quite literally as Squall had been her vessel. Hopefully, this wouldn't last a mile, but she really was walking in Squall's shoesand seeing life from his point of view.

The body she was a passenger in gave a slight chuckle before speaking. To anybody at the beach, it looked like he was speaking to himself. _"I'm guessing you two are in there. Either that or the lemonade was spiked. It was made by Irvine so, no big shock there."_ He paused before adding. _"I know, be nice. You've mentioned that a few times today."_

"Squall…" Rinoa called for him, everything else escaped her.

"I'm still here," he assured, although the Squall that responded wasn't the one on the beach, "but to clarify, that comment you just heard from me was said hours ago. I couldn't hear us speaking, but I felt the minute you arrived...or rather, when _we_ arrived."

He laughed, although it came out as a snort. "For the record, I have no idea where Laguna got that it felt like fairies in his head. Seriously, fairies? It's closer to a few strong shots of whiskey. Then again, the world's better off not knowing what happens in his head…I'm scarred enough from what I witnessed. Think about it - I watched him hit on not only my mother, but yours too… fun family-therapy fact right there, but whatever. Laguna can keep the fairies flying around in his head; I'll stick with the whiskey swimming around in mine."

Rinoa appreciated that he was doing his damndest to keep the mood light. He knew that she was utterly terrified. Here she was, waiting to meet someone that was _beyond important_ for the very first time. Ever. It wasn't like being nervous before an important interview or a first date with a crush – this was far from comparable. She was waiting to see her daughter and, through Squall's eyes, she'd have a momentary glimpse into something that would be so fleeting in life.

And it was this wait, this seemingly-endless wait that petrified Rinoa. Not that she didn't enjoy the ocean - it was miraculous in its own right - but it wasn't Skyler, her best friend for six years. What if Ellone wasn't able to maintain the connection or something went wrong? To be so close, but never further away…Rinoa felt sick at the thought. How that was even possible, she couldn't say as she wasn't currently in possession of a body, although that was probably for the best. She felt incredibly nauseous and would've probably ended up becoming physically ill…not exactly the icebreaker she'd want with Skyler, although the Kinneasi would probably get a kick out it.

A few minutes ago, Squall told her that she needed to be as strong as Skyler – for Skyler - truer words were never spoken.

Right now, she needed Squall and his pathetic attempts at one-way conversations. He was doing everything possible to placate her until their daughter showed up. She'd laugh about his lack of social graces later, but for now, she'd focus on how lucky he was.

"Rinoa, I look at it this way - we just joined the regularly-scheduled Squall in progress." He winced. Yes, he actually said those words. This is why he didn't do 'cheer up' or happy. He sounded as cheesy as Zell or Irvine. Worse yet, he even heard Rinoa groan. Continuing to suffer not-so-silently, Squall awkwardly ended up doing a play-by-play recap of situations that shouldn't ever be narrated.

"Anyways, I'd just taken a lemonade break…or rather that's what I told you. I had actually checked in with everyone as we worked out the details."

Beautiful. He went from bad puns to admitting that he'd lied to his wife - _on purpose_ \- with the explicit purpose of deceiving her. "Sorry. I should've started that part out with an apology, but hopefully you understand. To be fair, I wasn't lying about the lemonade, I did have some. It was made with lemons. Actually, it was pink lemonade with yellow lemons."

Seriously…this was a cruel and unusual punishment for all parties involved. He hoped this covered 'small talk' for the next two decades. He let out a few choice curse words as colorful as his choice in lemonade. "At this point, I was walking back to where you were, wondering why I didn't bring sandals. Yeah. That's the sort of stuff I think about – when I get silent. Believe me, I seem a lot more mysterious than I really am. But yes, sandals help. The truth is that the sand gets really hot in Balamb. I guess that's not limited to here, I'm sure it gets hot everywhere."

Worst. Tour. Guide. Ever. Thankfully, he had no intention of quitting his day job. He really wasn't like this normally. He was bad, but this was disaster. He wished that Elle had dropped them off closer to seeing Skyler, but it was impossible to complain. He was just horrified that he didn't sound anything like himself. He sounded more like…Laguna. Shit. That would be another thought that wouldn't be leaving his mind anytime soon.

To his surprise, Rinoa finally spoke. "You had this planned… Today at the beach was-"

"…a conglomeration of really bad acting by more than one of the many parties involved, but yes. In fact, most of us had just met up while we left you alone with the kids. Actually, I should be seeing _you just_ _aboouutt_ …."

Unfortunately, his timing outside of battle rivaled his ability to make engaging small talk. So he had to extend the word a lot longer than he'd anticipated. "...now. About now."

"The kids are…" She tried so desperately to look around, but her field of vision remained limited to his unfortunately.

"Taking a short break. They'll be back…she'll be back. You'll be fine."

"Squall I-" She started, but suddenly became mute. Again, for not having lungs or a windpipe, she found it impossible to catch her breath.

Oddly, both Squalls – the voice in her head and the one on the beach spoke in unison, saying one of their favorite lines in unison.

"I'm here."

" _I'm here."_

"Look, I'm even in stereo. Bonus," the Squall in her head joked awkwardly.

Rinoa couldn't help it, nerves or not, two Squalls were more than any person could handle and she found herself smiling. Again, being corporeally-challenged, it was a phantom sensation. Actually, that was probably the best explanation she could offer - like people lost appendages and had phantom pains…. Just subtract an arm or leg for _everything_ and that just about covered it.

"Hearing myself, maybe I should invest in a thesaurus for my birthday." If only he knew what she'd been thinking similar. However, no matter what she thought a few minutes ago, it didn't hold water now.

"No, don't. There's something comforting in the fact that you're predictable. Plus 'I'm here' is better than 'whatever.' Not to say that I don't like the classics one and a while.

"Meanie," he teased in kind, thankful she'd let go enough to joke around.

The longer they were married, the more he'd grown to revere her strength. From those first steps on the dance floor, Rinoa taught him lessons that SeeD never could, such as how physical strength couldn't compare to inner determination. When those two aspects crossed, one could move mountains and save the world – and that's how Rinoa had become his hero. A long time ago, during an argument, Rinoa pointed out that the lioness, not the lion, should've been the king of the jungle. He never agreed more.

Thankfully, Ultimecia never found out the truth or their final battle with her may have ended different; the most powerful Guardian Force wasn't Griever, it was Griever's wife.

Kidding aside, he'd never been as impressed with her strength as he was today. He loved his lioness.

As for Rinoa, she was eavesdropping on a conversation that she and Squall were having (had?) on the beach…maybe Squall had been onto something about verb tenses all those years ago. This was so damn confusing and weird – a double out-of-body experience mixed in with future therapy fodder. Every day, people take for granted the fact that they can look in a mirror, yet here she was looking at herself at thirty-two; she was no longer the nineteen-year-old she saw in Mike's bathroom mirror before leaving the party.

"You're right…I am old." Her words sounded robotic, a sullen fascination about them.

"No, you're beautiful. That has never changed."

She didn't have time to respond before she heard one of Irvine and Selphie's boys talking. Beach-Squall had turned his head, but she could only make out two of kids. Truthfully, she had no idea who was who, but wow…just wow. They were the spitting image of their parents down to the hair color. Poor boys, she'd just partially compared them to a girl and, as they'd come to discover at Skyler's birthday - girls are icky.

" _Where's your brother and Sky?"_ Beach-Squall asked.

" _Coming up behind us. She wanted shells for the castle or something. We gathered sticks for the drawbridge and found seaweed because it's awesome and slimy and looks like monster snot. It's gonna be our Abyss-Seaweed Worm that lives in the castle moat. We made that up, cool, huh!? It sounds like a real monster and everything!"_

"I guess a little context may help." The mind-Squall said. "Sorry, I guess I didn't realize they didn't give names."

Rinoa managed a diminutive laugh. "…Which was totally for the best. Seriously, if after eight years you suddenly introduced me to the boys… Well, there would've been questions. _Many_ questions. Ones about your sanity and possible heatstroke chief among them."

"Now you're catching on, which is exactly why I didn't introduce them."

"Liar. If I had eyes, I'd so be rolling them right now."

"I guess that's better than if you had a middle finger right now." He laughed. "But that's Conner on the left and Cooper on the right. Cooper really takes after-"

"Selphie," she finished for him, "Yes. I absolutely see it." The gravity of a single world resonated within her, speech being stolen from her once more.

He knew that silence. "You're not alone."

By now, the Squall on the beach had moved down to work on the castle. That was something else that had been surprisingly emotional. However, the sand would have to wait.

" _Mom, Dad! I saw a crab! A real one!"_ Rinoa forgot how to breathe, years of wonder were about to be fulfilled. _"Daddy, I don't know why Aunt Quistis says you can be crabby… it looks nothing like you."_

Squall had turned to look at the girl. And whatever words were being exchanged between them, Rinoa heard none of it. Because when her husband had turned to look, for the first time, Rinoa saw…


	4. Act IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the final chapter was running long *cough* I ended up breaking it into two parts. However, I'm going to post them both at once so I can at least say something else is complete...having about five stories going at once is about three too many. I will do this, darn it! 
> 
> Honestly, I'm so behind in everything...In the last five weeks I've been home about seven days. Trust me, I was doing well to manage this. :D

Her eyes were brown.

Rinoa had known this – but knowing and _knowing_ were worlds apart.

Her hair was brown. She knew this too, but brown was a generic term.

Even if someone had said that Skyler's hair wasn't as dark as her mother's, but it wasn't as light as her father's, it left too many unanswered questions. Not to mention that time could've changed their own hair color – and what she'd gleamed of Squall's hair earlier had backed up that theory one hundred percent.

Whatever words or descriptions had ever been used, they hadn't quite fit. The shade she saw in front of her, the one that would remain in her memories, was a color that belonged to Skyler alone. It would be fair to say that Rinoa had been in a trance, but it was nothing like the one placed on her by Ultimecia.

Mouth, nose, chin, cheeks, earlobes, forehead, eyebrows, eyelashes…

…So many things to take in. So much beauty condensed into a three and a half foot ball of energy and curiosity.

So much to discover about the child who'd already become everything to her; who'd become her life since the first breath of air left her lungs – and even before then. It felt natural to take a figurative step back and look at her as a whole, but she couldn't, not yet.

The little girl was more than her hair color, her rounded cheeks, or her smile that emanated innocence. Just like her father, their daughter was so much greater than the sum of her parts. Overwhelmed, Rinoa desperately tried to corral her feelings so she could funnel them into a sole point of focus. The technique was similar to something Squall had taught her, although its original intent was used for battles. In a million lifetimes, she never thought it would transfer for this purpose. It did.

For the first time ever, she learned about her daughter, not through touch, but by sight.

Her facial features…well, for six years, Rinoa was privy to everyone's opinion, as everyone had one. Some said her nose was Squall's, others said it looked exactly like hers. The same held true about her smile - besides the comparisons to her and Squall (as rare as _that_ may be), but she'd also been told it belonged to both Raine and Julia.

Some said Skyler was the spitting image of her mother - others believed that they saw her father. To absolutely no one's surprise, the most emotionally-invested were always the relatives. Unfortunately, this resulted in a rather awkward holiday dinner when the two grandfathers vehemently argued that she had their earlobes. Rinoa smiled and nodded, saying, _"I'm sure she's beautiful, no matter who she looks like,"_ while simultaneously wondering how in the hell earlobes had even come up to be a point of disagreement. Seriously, who starts _that_ conversation? After that fiasco, she and Squall banned alcoholic beverages for all granddads at all future family gatherings…it didn't even have to be their family gathering.

Still, when Skyler was just a baby, Rinoa realized that people saw what they wanted to see – maybe even what they needed to see. If Julia and Raine lived on in a little girl's cheeks, then what was the harm in going along with it?

Yet now, as she stood there, if there were resemblances, she didn't see it. Maybe that took time - unfortunately, time was a luxury that she wasn't afforded.

So yes, nose, mouth, chin, cheeks, and even earlobes, the ones she saw before her weren't anybody's. Just like her hair, everything that Skyler Elizabeth Leonhart had was hers alone.

Looking beyond that, Skyler was the picture perfect vision of a child…because she _wasn't_ picture perfect. She looked real - not some child actor in a commercial for 'family beach fun' for the Balamb Chamber of Tourism. No, not at all. She was very much real little girl - like how her ponytail was askew – what started in the middle of her head now drifted to the far right as large hunks too short to reach the clip had fallen from their restraints. And although her hair had been brushed in the morning, it looked like a _beautifully-snarled mess_ – a phrase not often uttered. She'd even caught a glimpse of seaweed tucked in the rubber band – three guesses how that got there…all of 'em beginning with a 'Co.'

Quite impressively, Skyler had managed to have a thin layer of sand that only covered her left leg and right arm, yet the rest of her body was spotless – a feat that probably couldn't be duplicated. The peace sign and smiley face one-piece bathing suit she wore had faded in parts, but the girl refused to wear any other one. She had cotton-candy pink nail polish on her fingers, but yet her toenails were a royal purple. Rinoa hadn't even realized Skyler had any on, let alone two different colors – it was always the little things.

All of it. Everything. It's what made her real. From the messy hair, washed out bathing suit, two-toned nails, and veil of sand – to even the seaweed in her hair – Skyler Leonhart looked like, well, a beautiful disaster. She looked perfect.

And when her daughter smiled… that was the most beautiful gift of all.

And every pain she'd ever felt, every fear she'd ever had, everything had temporarily been wiped clean with her euphoria. She felt as if the world's weight had been dropped and lifted on her a thousand times over. There was no real way to describe it, no single word that fit everything, not one emotion that captured the plethora of emotions of all these years; to see her child, even though someone else's eyes…was a gift she could never repay.

"She's beautiful, isn't she? I always said she had your eyes."

"I can't…I…"

"It's okay. We don't need words." And he was right - _there weren't any_. She watched as her daughter then set her handful of shells down in front of the castle. And in that moment, Rinoa watched her family and the three children of her friends, simply work. The kids laughed, the Kinneas boys argued, and Squall and Skyler worked. That was the image she'd imprint for an eternity, watching the unspoken teamwork between them. When she saw their castle, Rinoa knew that although she might've been the one to lay the foundation, it truly belonged to them.

She didn't know how long she'd been there, standing as an observer to her own life – but it would never be long enough.

"Rinoa, we have one more place we need to be, everyone is waiting. Are you ready?"

"No."

"I know." He couldn't blame her. He wanted to stay too, but he knew the strain on Ellone. Not to mention that Mrs. Leonhart had an invitation to the most prestigious party of the decade – _hers._ Okay, _prestigious_ was overkill, but it really was important to everyone and, no matter what name was on the birthday cake, Rinoa had always been the true guest of honor.

"I'd tried to find the right words, but I know right now they don't exist."

"Thank you," she whispered hoarsely.

It was the truth. He wasn't sugarcoating it, trying to comfort her with meaningless phrases like 'next time' or something. This was it - the first, the last. It was every time in between. She'd never see the beach again, she'd never see another sandcastle again, she'd never see…them.

"You know…" he began hesitantly, afraid of taking away from the past. "I made a promise a long time ago and I'm still willing to honor that, but I'd like to propose something else – maybe consider it updating our contract…or adding in a secondary clause. How about - if you ever need me - _or need us_ \- we'll be here waiting. It's not the flower field and we're not exactly alone but it's-"

" _Better_. It's better," she stated firmly, "I never thought it could be, but it is…she's here."

"I don't have paper, or pen, or hands…apparently…so like back in the field, I'll do this verbally. I, Squall Leonhart, your undersigned knight and ordained killer of arachnids that dare defy the boundaries of your kingdom, aka our apartment, do swear by the new amended promise. If you cannot find me, I'll be here, waiting on the beach. Look for the sandcastle and we'll both be there."

"I love you."

He tried to keep it light, but even he felt himself faltering. He knew it would be difficult, but he hadn't anticipated it to be this difficult. But he couldn't falter, he couldn't stumble for even a second – he needed to be strong for both of them.

Again, he whispered into the air "Elle, we're ready when you are."

**-o-o-O-O-o-o-**

Hearing those words had been a double-edged sword. Rinoa wanted to scream, but the will escaped her. She wanted to yell. To cry. To stand up and demand that they go back for just one more minute, for just one more glance, but she couldn't. No matter what her heart screamed, her mind understood _why_ this had to be.

It didn't negate her pain; it forced her to cherish each one of those memories even more.

Once again the landscape before her morphed into something different. Sand gave way to hardwood floors, as waves gave way to ivory walls. And before she knew what was happening, she was looking down at a large cake before becoming engulfed by flames. Okay, maybe not _engulfed_ per se – for one thing, there were only thirty-three candles on Squall's cake. It's just that when she was transported, things often emerged in stages – like auto-focus on a camera. Objects that had been extremely close or considerably further away took longer to make out, usually it was the _in between_ that had the most clarity. But the fire had fascinated her, momentarily consuming her entire field of sight. Obviously, it wasn't the way 'Party-Squall' saw it, but it's the way the images were transmitted to her.

But almost as quickly as she'd seen the flames, they'd disappeared. She remembered hearing the cheers; blowing out the candles had been a rather historic event in the life of Squall Leonhart. Matron had made him a few cakes at the orphanage, but others had taken the liberties of candle blowing… The first time, Seifer had decided to be…well, _Seifer_ and tried to upset Squall by stealing the limelight. Predictably, Squall couldn't have cared less. So, the following year, Zell figured if Squall didn't mind once, he wouldn't mind again. And of course Zell, being Zell, _really_ wanted this T-Board he'd seen in a magazine and thought he could use his friend's wish if he blew them out. Of course, birthday wishes weren't transferable, but five year-olds rarely read the fine print.

Rinoa would've asked him what he wished for today but, as she looked down at the birthday cake with the frosted badger design, she had a fairly decent idea _what_ his wish had been. In the background, amongst the clapping, a voice she recognized as Cooper's, ironically asked the exact same question that he'd asked back in April at Skyler's birthday party. Rinoa would later learn it was that very question that first set the wheels of this plan in motion.

" _So, whadda wish for?"_

" _He still can't tell! You're too dumb to be a Blobra Brain… you're more like a Blobra Butt!"_

" _Language,"_ Selphie warned in her best attempt at 'threatening voice.' _"Be good, don't make me take you out of here."_

" _It's all right,"_ the body she was occupying said, _"I won't say what my wish was, but I can tell you it came true."_

Rinoa remembered Squall saying those exact words because her interest had been piqued. She actually planned on teasing him later and when he didn't tell her - because he _wouldn't_ \- she'd go in for the kill, pulling out the big guns and using the "Blobra Brain" card.

All that aside, it seemed that Rinoa wasn't the only one who'd been interested in the Headmaster's comment.

" _Really!?"_

Sky had pretty much yelled her excitement for the whole room to hear. Rinoa couldn't see their daughter right now, but she had to be close. Rinoa knew that Skyler had been insistent about being next to her father when he'd blown out his candles. Looking back now, their daughter had been far more thrilled than what most would consider the norm…again, context really helped. Now, Rinoa completely understood her daughter's enthusiasm… No child - _in the history of ever_ \- had been _that_ excited about a parent blowing out birthday candles.

" _Yes Yes._ _ **Yessss**_ _!"_ Again, the voice was teasingly close. Rinoa _really_ wanted to whack the inside of Squall's head to make him look down, but she supposed the whole 'connection' thing didn't work that way.

….But it should have. Damn it. Maybe she'd find a suggestion box in here…she had a few.

"You know, Skyler really was excited when I told her my wish had come true." Rinoa heard the amusement in his voice… oddly, it made her wanted to whack Party-Squall more. "Thankfully, she didn't learn the truth. Honestly, I didn't have the heart to tell her that my real wish had been for a new package of socks. Luckily, that's what Nida bought me…like I said, the wish came true."

She laughed. "I should've known you'd go the practical route. God, you really are a Blobra Butt."

"No, just boring." He paused before realizing his fate. "That's going to be your new thing, isn't it?"

"It so is. It still beats _whatever_." He snorted, refusing to dignify that with an answer, but the moment he finally looked down, the conversation was forgotten.

Squall looked down in time to notice that his daughter's enthusiasm hadn't waned; she was excited and giddy as ever as she jumped up and down clapping her hands together. Because of the angle, it was difficult to make her out completely. Finally, when it appeared that the little girl was able to compose herself, she moved over to her father, flinging herself into his arms. At the party, Rinoa had been busy talking to her friends so all of this – the clapping and squealing - had gone unnoticed. Apparently, the distraction by Quistis and Selphie had been a little more than coincidental.

Leaning over, she whispered into Squall's ear. _"Hi mommy, hope you're not mad…but you can see me now. You can see all of us now!"_

"I'm not mad," Rinoa whispered, answering a child who couldn't hear; watching her daughter from hours away in another plane. "I'd never be mad…I love you so much…you're so beautiful."

Still being held in her father's arms, Skyler pulled away so her mother could see her better. She looked so different. Earlier, she looked like a child who'd spent the day at the beach. Now, she looked every part of a regal young lady, dressed up far more than she usually did – again, with context, it all made sense. She'd usually opt for a t-shirt and jeans, but tonight she was insistent on wearing her best. Rinoa had tried to talk her out of it, citing 'practicality reasons,' not to mention being overdressed, but the girl would have none of it. She was more stubborn than both her parents and grandparents combined, refusing to budge an inch.

Looking back, Rinoa noted something that should've been a huge, gigantic, enormous red flag - Squall sided with Skyler.

Her husband was nothing if not consist. He never took sides on what he'd classify as 'trivial matters,' such as girl's clothing and hairstyles. Even if someone asked his opinion directly, he'd usually stare at them and mutter something under his breath. His "responses of indifference" varied only slightly – depending on his current irritation level. Understanding them was an art, but one she'd come to decipher over the years. First, there was the typical ' _whatever_ ,' followed by the sometimes uttered _'I suppose,'_ and lastly the extremely rare two-word combination of ' _yeah, whatever_.' That was bad. Very bad. It was also, known as "DEFCON Squall" amongst their circle of friends.

Taking that into consideration, when the matter of Skyler's dress came up and Squall had an actual opinion…well, in the vernacular of Zell, "That should've been one huge-ass red flag waving around the field." He even told Rinoa that it was his birthday and since he didn't want anything (…less the socks), Skyler could pick out anything she wanted – apparently, unlike wishes, certain things transferred. He'd even suggested that after they all leave the beach, Skyler could use the showers there. And since Aunt Quistis was getting her hair done in town, maybe their daughter could tag-along and get her hair done all 'fancy-like' too (his words, not Rinoa's). When she'd showed back up, not only had her hair been done, but she'd gone shopping – at Squall's request.

…In the history of _history_ , there wasn't a red flag big enough.

It was a setup and like the Badlamb fish, she fell for it hook, line, and sinker. The hair appointment had probably been made weeks in advance and the dress shopping – that likely hadn't happened today either. She'd been with Skyler to pick out clothes, an ordeal to say the least. What started out as an argument this morning had come full circle. Seeing Skyler with her hair in sweeping curls, a small gathered on top with a mother-of-pearl barrette, and wearing a long blue taffeta dress…it was battle Rinoa was happy she'd lost. Yes, maybe she was overdressed, but Rinoa was thankful - _this_ was the way because it was Skyler herself who wanted her mother to see her this way.

…And suddenly it became clear; Squall wanted her to see her the other way, the _normal_ way. Rinoa understood why Squall had taken them to the beach, when Skyler wasn't ready to see her. _That was her_. The real Skyler. Not to say that this beautiful girl wasn't - they were two parts of the whole and Rinoa had got to see both.

" _Come on, let's go see everyone!"_

Skyler jumped out of Squall's arms, but took him by the hand, dragging him through the people. Rinoa noticed that the girl had the strategic planning of her father, moving in the opposite, counter-clockwise direction of where Party-Rinoa had been physically standing.

Rinoa was trying to see people, but Party-Squall wasn't cooperating, not that that was a new concept in the slightest. To play devil's advocate, he _was_ being dragged, maybe he was looking down to avoid stepping on her long dress. She'd give him that one…this time. Once and awhile, she'd catch a glimpse of the room or someone she thought she knew. The room itself was far from exciting, unless one had an affinity for conferences rooms. Their place was way too small and the ballroom had been closed for renovations, but that was okay. As much as she might've like to have seen it, she'd come to realize that the place didn't matter – just the people in it.

" _Uncle Zell, Aunt Alex!"_ she called out, but then secretively whispered the next part, _"Mom's here. I mean_ _ **here-here**_ _\- mom's in dad."_

Rinoa had to smile. Now there was an… _awkward_ statement if there ever was one. When she was finally able to see Zell, he was…Zell. Besides maybe a little more weight in the face, he still had an extremely-boyish look, although she wouldn't dare tell him that and ruin his perceived manliness factor. Oh yes, or tell him that he currently rivaled the color of tomato bisque soup.

" _Hey Rin, how's it going? It's gotta be scary in Squall's mind. Seriously, guy spends so much time in there, it's like his summer home... he probably has some beanbags and throw pillows strewn about, am I right? Anyways, I know you know her, but here she is, my very pregnant wife, Alexandra, mother-to-be of Zell Awesome Dincht Jr."_

" _Ignore him, I do."_ Alex smiled, rolling her eyes. _"This is certainly different, but hello…again. Oh, and for the record, under no circumstances are we naming the baby Zell…despite his arguments that it's a unisex name. "_

" _Tch. Fine, how about Zellda for a girl? And Awesome is an 'awesome' middle name no matter what - it's totally bi-gender-ish-like."_

Until this very moment, Rinoa hadn't been able to place Alex, although they'd supposedly danced together in Deling. And yet with a single glance and fleeting recognition, four years of curiosity had been erased. She and Alex weren't close or anything, honestly, Rinoa couldn't even say if they'd even spoken a word. Of all the things, Rinoa remembered her because of her smile – it had been reminiscent of childhood friend who'd moved away. It was bittersweet because no matter how much she wanted, her heart simply couldn't 'see' everything.

" _I need to keep moving. I don't know how long we have."_ Rinoa heard Party-Squall say to Alex and Zell.

"Liar." Rinoa called his bluff. She knew somewhere out there, disembodied Squall would hear her calling him out. "You were _sooo_ trying to get away. Don't even try."

"I so was," he said bluntly, "I didn't want to be caught in the War of the Dinchts.' We both know Zell was going to ask my opinion. Trust me, he doesn't want it this time. Unless they're born to caped-superheroes no child should have 'awesome' anywhere in their name."

"You could've at least said goodbye."

"My bad."

Rinoa chuckled; he sounded oh-so-very-wrong when he tried to sound remotely cool.

**-o-o-O-O-o-o-**

She continued watching as Skyler dragged them to the next group of people. This had been the rather odd combination of Cid, Edea, Irvine, and two people she wasn't quite sure of – a man and woman – there was something familiar about the female, although she couldn't quite place it.

" _Guys, guys! Guess who's here?"_ Skyler chirped happily. Letting go of Squall's hand, she jumped up to Uncle Irvine.

Because of the boys, she'd spent a lot of time with him and, much to Squall's chagrin, he'd become a second father figure. Rinoa was actually glad that he was holding her as it allowed her to have a full view of her daughter…well, when Squall turned that way. She noticed that he had this ability to look directly at the small gaps between people, giving the appearance he was paying attention. Now that she'd through his eyes, his secret was out – he spent a disproportionate time staring at walls.

" _Rinoa, I'm so glad that this worked out."_ Edea reached for Party-Squall, pulling him into an embrace. _"We love you very much."_

"Yeah, that was…awkward. Unfortunately, it gets worse later on."

"It's sweet…" The response lacked heart as reality began chipping away at her composure. Cid and Edea looked…older. While it was true that she and Squall weren't exactly teenagers, this… _this_ hit hard. The memories of everyone she knew, or had ever known, had become nothing more than snapshots in her head. When she pictured them, they rarely aged. She found it was difficult, if not impossible, and even if she tried to 'age up' a person, the image was fleeting. By the time she thought of them again they'd reverted back to the person they were thirteen years ago. The phenomenon wasn't exclusive to people, but the world as a whole; in a way, life had simply frozen in place.

It's why looking at them had taken her aback. The former headmaster hadn't aged well; he'd had such a difficult life and years of stress had eventually taken their toll. More than that, he stood in front of her as representation to life outside the darkness…proving that time wasn't frozen. To a degree, she'd been able to shutout that aspect of mortality, but Cid was a painful reminder that not everything was what she remembered; those she loved were getting older.

Still, she had to find away to push those emotions to the side - it _was_ nice seeing him. They'd spent a lot of time together. Until Cid's retirement, she'd worked as a glorified operator – at least that's how she referred to herself. It was a way to give back to her adoptive home, but mostly, it allotted her a much-needed sense of independence. She'd taken time off when Skyler was born, but returned to part-time status shortly after. When he retired, she transferred over to Quistis, helping field her calls after her promotion to commander. She dearly loved Squall, but she needed something of her own, plus she had an inkling that working for him wouldn't exactly be like skipping stones in Lake Obel. Basically, there wasn't enough money, coffee, or chocolate in the world to get her to work for him.

" _Do I still look like that mean ol' former boss of yours minus the hair?"_ Cid let out an awkward laugh. _"Bald is in, I keep telling your husband to join the club."_

" _Now, now Cid, don't terrify her."_ Edea smiled, retrieving a wine glass from her husband's hand. _"We miss you dear. Please consider that an open-invitation to visit, even if that obstinate husband of yours says he can't get away. It's been forever since we've had a child's laughter at our place."_

"… _But I thought Uncle Zell visited last week?"_ Skyler replied, making everyone laugh. It was obvious that she was channeling her inner-Squall.

"Gee, wonder where she got that from?" Rinoa scoffed, shaking her non-existent head.

"Quistis would be my guess."

"You're amazing…and don't take that as a compliment." He didn't have time to respond because Party-Squall already had.

" _She always spoke highly of you, sir."_

" _You sound like I'm dead, boy. Not yet, I plan on kicking around until you're a grandparent."_

" _Ick!"_ Skyler groaned; she buried her face in Irvine's shoulder so nobody could see her. Maybe they'd forget she was there.

" _Enough of the love fest, not to mention trying to marry off my little darlin'._ Plus, I'm entirely sure who she'll end up with, maybe Cooper. _"_ Irvine said with a grin. " _Why don't we get onto more important things…? Such as, like how I'm like a perfectly bottled wine – growing finer with age."_

"I feel sick. Seriously," Squall's voice interjected. "Just to clarify, I felt sick then too. For the record, he's not a fine wine, a box wine at most."

"There, there, Squall, you're doing so well. So far, no fatalities, which is better than expected."

"No _known_ fatalities," he corrected.

"You're incorrigible. Also, I know you were holding back what you were really thinking about Irvine there. For my sake, and for the sake of the future Skyler Kinneas, we thank you."

"That's not funny. At all. Skyler's now banned from being around the Cobalt kids until she's fifty."

"Cobalt kids?"

"Quistis' nickname for them…think about it, the answer's very elementary."

"If bad humor is your way at getting back at me, touché."

Party Squall spoke up, trying to keep the conversation moving. Unbeknownst to him, moving along also helped him in the future. _"The man next to him is Carl."_

"Wow, he's…talk about a fine wine. He's kinda gorgeous."

"That's nice to hear. Really," Squall replied with his patented monotone enthusiasm.

"Jealous? Don't be. I sort of have this thing for disembodied voices."

"Damage is done." He was semi-serious about his next comment. "I get it, Irvine 2.0 is good-looking. I hear it enough from Selphie. Unfortunately, I also hear it from Irvine when he's depressed. It's…uncomfortable. People still have this inexplicable need to confide in me. Seriously, Irvine's the bartender; don't they belong to a bartender support group or something?"

"Psssh, meanie. And if you insist, I'll start confiding in Carl." She knew he'd love that one. "Anyways, who's the woman standing there…she looks familiar."

"That's ironic," Squall said with a knowing snort. Once upon a time, he thought she looked familiar too.

" _Um, hi Rinoa. This is really awkward, I didn't think-"_

Rinoa had known the voice instantly. "Lauren. That's Lauren."

It had been the first introduction where she'd spoken over, so there was some residual shock. Basically, Rinoa had seen her one time the accident and well, it was a quick glimpse – and what she saw...wasn't her face. There hadn't been hard feelings, but they weren't exactly friends either. _Friendly_ , yes, but not much beyond that as their only real connection was Selphie, seeing as they'd run in completely different circles. If Rinoa thought that was weird, it was about to get weirder.

Irvine began sheepishly, "…Yeah, maybe this isn't the time or place, but hey… I've never been one to do anything the conventional way."

Rinoa found herself snorting, yeah, _that_ was the understatement of the century.

" _We didn't want it to get around, but Lauren and I have been dating a few months. Selphie knows, but we haven't told the boys. He turned to the girl in his arms. "Young Miss, I'm asking you to keep that under wraps right now. Please let us tell the boys. I'm trusting you darlin'."_

Irvine then turned back to Party-Squall. _"We're telling 'em tonight when we can sit down as a family, plus Carl asked me to be a groomsman. It works out because Lauren's one of Selphie's bridesmaids."_

"Oh yeah, there were a few things I forgot to tell you about tonight. Like that." He felt bad. This was supposed to be something amazing for Rinoa, something she'd always remember. Then again, he had a feeling she'd _always remember_ this encounter, although not necessarily for the right reasons. "I can see next year's recruiting campaign: Welcome to Balamb Garden. We're like a bad soap opera, but with weapons."

Maybe she should've been in shock, but this was par for the course and she had to laugh about the absurdity of it all. It was a soap opera…

Selphie's ex-best friend was dating Selphie's ex-husband; all this right after Selphie became engaged to Irvine 2.0. Oh yes, and Carl and Irvine appeared to be good enough friends that everybody was making a guest appearance in the wedding - which was great for the boys' sake. To top it off, this all involved the same girl that Squall had mistaken her for? She wasn't even going to dignify the part about one marrying off Skyler to one of the boys…

Still, this was comedic gold. She needed to find a writing partner and turn this into a sitcom before someone else snatched it up. If that show about being married to a Chocobo could stay on the air for six seasons, people would surely eat up this ridiculousness up. Fifteen years ago, who would've predicted that she and Squall would be quote-unquote the "normal" ones? …There really were no guarantees.

"Squall, you're right about the soap opera - all that's missing is the bad acting."

Party-Squall hadn't known about this latest development, nor did he want to deal with it. _"That's interesting news. I am…now informed. Thank you."_

Rinoa laughed. "…Annndd there it is, the bad acting! Thank you, my Knight, your response made absolutely no sense, yet you managed to sound almost sincere."

"I live to serve…but, seriously? That whole dynamic is…odd. I mentally scratched my head last year when Lauren colored her hair that reddish-brown. True, it looked less like your hair color, but it looked more like Selphie _sooo_ …yeah, I'm not touching this one."

"And neither am I. ….Pushing the Rom-Com from hell aside, Cid and Edea look…well… Squall, that was hard." Old, bad, tired, worn out? She didn't know what to say. It was difficult to see, but no matter how hard it was to accept, she needed to see it.

"Rin, we're all older… I knew this wouldn't be easy and I know there'll be emotional fallout in the months to come. It's one of two key reasons I'd wrestled with it for so long, but I'm beside you every step of the way."

He'd paused briefly before taking another odd turn in the conversation. "Oh, by the way Rinoa, we're probably going to the pet store in the next few days. Fair warning."

She'd vaguely been listening, mainly because the words had been transposed over the former headmaster's. She wanted to question him, but unfortunately it would be answered for her.

"… _And you two have a beautiful young daughter, or should I say young lady?"_ Cid laughed, pushing his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose. After all these years, some things never changed, ill-fitting glasses. _"A young lady that needs to have a brother or sister to look out for - she'd be a natural big sis. Let's call that a friendly suggestion Headmaster Leonhart or rather… you'd probably be more comfortable if I referred to that as a mission."_

"… _And we're done here,"_ Squall said, motioning for Skyler to get down.

" _Aww dad, come on, Uncle Cid's right! It's totally not fair! Conner, Colton, and Cooper all have each other and I don't even have a dog anymore! So I think I should get a brother or a sister or a dog or a ferret or something."_

" _That's a discussion for a later time…a far later time. Remember we talked about how hard this would be on Aunt Elle? It's important to keep moving."_ There was a momentary pause before he mumbled under his breath. _"Ferret…like hell, rather have a damn Behemoth."_

The little girl hadn't heard her father's unnatural distain for all things ferret as she'd been too preoccupied with jumping down and giving all the adults hugs, even Lauren and Carl. Rinoa found herself smiling, not the least bit upset. Her closest friends used to ask her if there was any animosity, but there never had been - honestly, it seemed shortsighted to blame someone else for the past. When she and Squall had communication issues, those were theirs alone, assigning blame to someone else…it was only a band-aid solution at best. She could have also blamed her accident on Mike but, in the end, he was only at fault for his use of bad pickup lines - her choices were her own.

And in this moment, Skyler's choices were her own too – and she chose to see beyond lines and labels – and there was no doubt that the little girl considered everyone in that room a close friend or, yes, even family. Growing up, both Rinoa and Squall had very few people they could truly count on, yet Skyler had an entire room full of them. That fact had been a testament to one thing: no matter how many mistakes either she or Squall had made in the past - _it didn't matter_. To have so many people that not only cared for their daughter, but who loved her - defending her as if she'd been their own if need be – well, that proved that regardless of everything else, she and Squall had truly done far more things right.

And of course, the _'most right'_ was the little girl who never hesitated as she reached for her father's hand. She was also the only one who could publically tow him around without him fear of punishment, the one who currently was playing tour guide, whose smile never faded as she anxiously led her father into the room.

As Party-Squall was being dragged among the crowd, the omnipotent voice in her head had suddenly gone silent, leaving a growing sense of awkwardness in its wake. Seriously, one didn't need to be an Estharian rocket scientist to notice that his lull had perfectly aligned with Cid's rather uncouth 'mission' suggestion. That's why when his voice finally echoed in her head, Rinoa had taken it as a rather gauche attempt at deflection. Honestly, the only time Squall should try to 'deflect' anything was while casting magic…because it was just an all-round painful experience otherwise. Still, what he'd told Skyler had been correct – it was a conversation for later.

"Look Rinoa, it only took me thirty-three years and possibly a shot or two of alcohol but I'm finally making the rounds at a party. And you said I couldn't _do_ sociable."

"…Somehow, I don't believe _this_ counts. But fine, I stand corrected – Squall Leonhart, you've finally emerged from your cocoon and become my little social butterfly." She groaned; everything about that statement had been cringe-worthy. "Yeah…no, just no. Quick reminder, how much _did_ I have to drink tonight? Because the words _Squall Leonhart_ and _social butterfly_ should never be placed in the same sentence. Ever."

"If you put 'killed a' between those words, it's actually plausible."

"…As always, my husband, forever the eternal romantic."

Rinoa found herself laughing at the random absurdity of it all. Speaking of random bouts of information, this seemed about as good as time as any to mention something… Unfortunately, Mr. Eternally-Romantic was often less astute in these types of situations – this fact had led to one of the most amusing inside jokes of their group. After Ultimecia's defeat, the group had gone out to dinner and, like the Ragnarok in space, their conversations tended to drift about aimlessly.

That night they talked about how Rinoa ended up hanging off the side of Garden. Admittedly, it was not her finest hour and the whole, 'it had to be Squall' thing was something that had still been an issue. Back then, not enough time had passed and Rinoa and Squall hadn't thought it was funny, although Rinoa had still managed to laugh along with her friends. The point was made that Squall was often slower to pick up some cues - ironically, this was the point she was still making fifteen years later. But the joke started at dinner when Selphie felt an inexplicable need to point out that when it came to issues of the heart, Gerald, her childhood pet rock, was more apt to catch on than Squall.

Even more inexplicably, Selphie had decided to ask the then-commander's opinion and since he'd been selectively paying attention, he'd missed the key detail about "Gerald". So Squall's hasty reply had laid out the facts as he saw them – like the fact that, during the battle of the Gardens, it was likely that Squall had far more responsibility than Gerald. That if Squall had known he'd been teased about it, maybe he would've ordered Gerald to go rescue Rinoa. If everyone was so keen on playing matchmaker, and reading into cues, maybe Rinoa and Gerald had a more solid future.

When the entire table's response was to break hysterical laughter, Squall actually became uncharacteristically aggravated. Back then, Squall's emotions were still very volatile, plus the few glasses of alcohol certainly didn't help but, for whatever reason, he became irate. Slamming his napkin down, Squall then said he doubted that this guy could handle the situation much better and that he'd gladly step down for the week if what's-his-name thought he was better at reading people.

Of course, come Monday there was a large rock sitting in Squall's chair and the reason was totally lost him. Selphie had even painted a little SeeD outfit on him so needless to say, Squall was quite confused. Oddly, a generation later, Rinoa had to wonder if maybe Gerald would've picked up on this, as it seemed as though Squall certainly hadn't. But as she continued looking at her daughter, while remembering some of the best times in her life, she had to smile. Honestly, she knew how Gerald would handle the truth; she just had to wonder how Squall would.

"Squall, I'm just throwing it out there, in case you didn't know… but you do realize that Skyler has a little crush on Irvine?"

"No, I didn't… Thank you for pointing _that_ one out," he responded with equal parts sarcasm and disgust. "My nightmares had gotten a tad stale – this will change them up. Not sure how I missed that one, but wish I had." He paused briefly, before adding, "And you're thinking of the rock again, aren't you?"

"Maybe." She giggled.

"So predictable," he grumbled, although it was definitely lighthearted. To everyone's surprise, he'd actually kept the original painted rock in his office. Of course it wasn't the original Gerald, but they'd taken to calling the new one Commander Gerald Jr. It was a nice reminder to keep a sense of humor …well, either that or it served as a constant reminder that if he screwed up, either at work or with Rinoa, he could be replaced by a rock at not too many people would notice.

Actually, on the subject of being replaced, "Honestly, if Skyler had a crush on a rock, I'd think it was slightly less disturbing. Anything else you want to pile on me since I can't unsee the Irvine thing now?"

"Not really although, fair warning, you're going to the pet shop alone…since the idea of more children is terrifying, apparently."

So much for 'later.' At first, she believed everything had just slipped out, but there was something nagging at her – had it been an accident or a conscious decision? Being honest, there'd been a strong bite to words – standing by itself, that fact was extremely telling. She did regret bringing it up, or at least the timing of it; sadly their communication problems of the past weren't all history. She hadn't meant to ruin this wonderful gift with a possible argument – she was torn whether to apologize or attempt to let it go. Over the years, Rinoa had become an expert in judging his reactions to certain situations, but this one…well, she was treading on uncharted territory.

Her earlier thought summed everything up nicely – _**awkward.**_

Maybe he'd let it go… _considering._

"I didn't say that."

…Or maybe not so much.

The comment had meant to be serious, although it had accidently hinged along the defensive. Squall swallowed, contemplating his next move. For a moment, he allowed himself to stand back and watch the moment along with his wife – not as a participant, but as a bystander, observing their daughter's life. He watched as one hand of her hands tightly held his, the other grasping a handful of her skirt's material. He watched as Skyler remained steadfast on her path. The little girl never seemed to catch a break as both she and her headmaster-father were bombarded by party guests.

And Skyler…well, Squall believed that she was nothing short of amazing – it was as if she had all of the best parts of them. He had seen his daughter for six years, but he decided to treat these moments as if they'd be his last. To see her like Rinoa was, to put away everything he knew, and focus on what _he saw_ even if it went beyond the surface. Her mental strength, her fortitude, the uncharacteristic way a six year-old juggled diplomacy and her determination to cherish every second of Elle's gift – and yet never did her smile falter during all this. She carried on, following the mission that she'd assigned to herself and in that moment, Squall realized one thing – sometimes the 'later' has to be 'now.'

"Rinoa…those years were difficult on you."

And because of that, those years had been difficult on him. Yes, his pain had been secondary, but at times his fears had become almost debilitating. He hadn't told her back then, but as he watched the person Skyler had become, he knew that the truth also needed more than past tense in his memories.

"Sometimes it was all so overwhelming, I didn't know how we'd make it."

It had been the truth, after their daughter was born Rinoa seemed and _was_ happy but she also _wasn't_ at the same time. Squall had heard her cry more times than Skyler; sometimes she'd hide her tears, other times she'd fall desperately into his arms, nearly inconsolable. The limitations and obstacles she faced were shrouded in darkness and the fear of the unknown standing right in front of her. Something as simple as a diaper change suddenly felt like an ancient trial of ancient gods of Centra.

Rinoa would break down and it took everything he had to keep the pieces glued together; it pained him, the fact that he felt entirely useless it made it that much harder – there were some monsters that the trained SeeD couldn't fight, some demons that a warrior and a knight couldn't slay. And in the middle of this, he had Garden. He tried to balance those duties with the responsibility of being both a father and a husband. At times, for lack of a better term, he felt as if Rinoa had mentally checked out and there he was, feeling overwhelmed, doing his best to keep his sanity intact despite how terrified he was inside.

Slowly, the weight wore on all of them. If it hadn't been for their friends, especially Irvine and Selphie, Squall questioned if they would've made it at all. Yes, they could've hired someone to take care of Skyler, but when Rinoa was home full-time, he feared that it would only serve as a constant reminder of her limitations.

…But in the end, they made it.

In retrospect, those first years felt like another lifetime. Looking at Skyler, his memories had nearly become misleading as they almost seemed… _easy_. However, reality was anything but. Someone said that positive memories overtake the bad as time passes and, to a point, that theory held true. Still, he remembered moments that he'd have given anything to forget, namely the emotional lows when it all felt so damn hopeless. He never spoke of it, although the guilt lingered, even today. Maybe what he told Skyler earlier was correct - this wasn't the time but, then again, maybe it was.

"Rinoa, you're the strongest person I know, but I'd never ask you to go through that again." Swallowing, he couldn't look at Skyler when he admitted his weakness. "…I was scared."

"I was scared too. And nobody asked me to go through it, petrified or not, I wanted to …just like if it happened again, you wouldn't be asking me to. There are just some obstacles you want to overcome, some fears you want to face."

Squall didn't know how to feel. He'd resigned himself to believing that Skyler was it, but the idea was out there now. Even if this was a conversation that neither had ever expected, it had happened. Most amazingly, they had it while watching their daughter _together_. And maybe when it was all said and done, that simple fact would become the greatest albatross. They had a beautiful daughter – one Rinoa got to see. If they had another child, then Ellone would be… he suddenly felt sick. He had to stop himself. This wasn't about future regrets or even past ones - it was simply about tonight.

Rinoa too had been uncharacteristically-quiet, absorbing the words of their conversation, all the while taking in the sights of the world around her. Tomorrow, she'd have a lot of things to think about – she'd resigned herself to the fact that some decisions had been made for her, that life itself had limited the possibilities. It was shortsighted, because she realized after speaking to her husband, the possibilities were only as limited as she made them.

**-o-o-O-O-o-o-**

By now, Skyler had dragged Squall into an adjoining room and, if Rinoa thought the last group was odd, well, they had nothing on this one. Everyone had been sitting around a table, playing what looked to be a game of poker. Rinoa couldn't say if this was the party within the party…or the group of secondary characters for their soap opera.

" _Guys, guys…!"_ Skyler beamed, causing the game to stop abruptly. She then pointed to Squall. " _Guys guess who is here and it's not my dad!"_

" _I could only be so lucky, but the blood tests proved otherwise,"_ General Caraway scoffed.

Although it sounded like the barb was against Squall, it was actually one towards Laguna - one of many comments often traded between to the two fathers that both Rinoa and Squall had learned to expertly ignore. Thankfully, Skyler still didn't catch on…yet. Squall reminded himself that he needed to have a strongly-worded conversation with both men, sooner rather than later.

Unlike Squall, Rinoa actually found humor in the two men. Very early on, Rinoa noticed that Laguna was remarkably easy going… unless the subject of Fury Caraway reared its ugly head. That's when all bets were off and laid-back Laguna suddenly morphed into this vocal and assertive man. Zell had once joked that the word 'frienemies' had been coined just for them…although Squall held a slightly stronger opinion. Rinoa had enough sense to keep some of her opinions to herself, such as the fact that she saw this Squall-Seifer parallel to the two older men.

Honestly, she'd kept that comparison to herself out of sheer trepidation…or rather the bone-chilling fear that terrorized to her very core because, if history did repeat itself, that meant that Skyler was destined to marry Seifer's son. That meant that, far off in the future… _very_ far _,_ _very-very_ far, _actually,_ _so very far_ off that one would need a map and a magnifying glass just to measure the distance – basically, really, really, far - down the road, that it would be Squall and Seifer trading not-so-good-natured jabs, all the while being banned from any alcohol consumption at family functions. Fun. Real fun.

As for Seifer, she knew he had a son – there were at least four kids that she'd known about. He'd been the first of the group (well, if one would call him part of the group) to have a child. Minus Cid and Edea, nobody had kept in touch with him, which was more his choice than theirs. Just like when he was at Garden, his greatest enemy had always been the one in the mirror.

In the last fifteen years, he'd been married twice, not counting one that had been annulled -an unfortunate result of a bout of binge drinking in Deling City. However, all that changed nearly eight years ago, when he finally _wanted_ to pull his life back together. Oddly enough, the catalyst had happened after an unexpected trip to Trabia. As the story goes, he fell asleep on an ocean freighter and, after several days at sea, it had docked at Trabia. Both Squall and Rinoa believed that in some way he needed to see that - coming face to face with his demons was the only way to make amends.

He'd later admitted that his first instinct was to turn around and run, but something inside made him stay. To this day, he said that decision was both the hardest and best one he'd made. The following months were hell and Seifer had admitted to her that he'd suffered a full-blown breakdown when he'd seen the devastation firsthand. Yes, it had been seven years, but the scars were still fresh for both him and the residents of Trabia. The biggest surprise was that people were more willing to forgive him than he was willing to forgive himself. Rinoa believed that Seifer confided in her because she could understand as it was similar to how she felt about unsealing Adel.

Either way, he stayed and even settled down with a former SeeD from Trabia. As of now, they'd been married for just over five years and had two sons. Rinoa wondered if Seifer would've come to the party if he'd been invited - she would've liked to see him as she still considered him a part of her life, but she also understood how difficult it probably would have been to accept such an invitation. As far as the other two kids and ex-wife, the information was sketchy and she never figured it was her business to ask.

Rinoa still thought of Seifer once and while, especially at odd times – and this was a perfect example of that. She wished him well with all her heart, but she just didn't wish him to be Skyler's father-in-law.

Thankfully, all that line of thinking disappeared when Party-Squall spoke up after a long pause.

" _General, you do realize that my father isn't even in the room?"_

" _I know, but it will get back to him. He has eyes and ears everywhere."_

"… _And his personal advisor sitting right next to you,"_ Zone pointed out, _"Come on, we expect more out of you than that."_

"He's bald!" Rinoa had no idea why she felt the need to announce that.

"And they say my knack for the obvious is bad."

"It is bad…and he's still bald."

There had been a momentary disconnect. Until he spoke, Rinoa actually didn't recognize one of her best friends. To be fair, the lighting was bad and she'd been focused on her father and, well, Zone was bald. True, Cid had lost his hair but that hadn't come as a big shock to her, not to mention her former boss had constantly gone about it; hearing about the hair in the bottom of the drain had been a near-daily occurrence for years – always a fun mental picture to start the day off of while sipping her coffee.

" _Let's take a break,"_ Xu said as she grabbed all the cards - it appeared she was the ring leader in this backroom poker game. It really was a rather unexpected motley crew - Zone, Watts, Xu, Nida, Kiros, and of course, her father. Despite being fully-aware that he'd lost his life during an attempt coup on the Presidential Palace not too long ago, it was definitely an adjustment to not see Ward around with Kiros and Laguna.

As if he was reading her mind, Squall spoke up. "I know, it took all of us some time to get used to not seeing Ward. He was quiet, but had a huge impact."

"It's almost like I'm watching someone else's life," Rinoa admitted softly, "Just like seeing Zone, I shouldn't have reacted that way. I still speak to him every week but…."

"It's not the same, I know." He paused, knowing this was encroaching on one of his concerns. "I wasn't sure about this. Right now, it's all well and good, but tomorrow and the day after…it's going to stick with you."

"It won't be easy…but it's worth it. Skyler was worth any of this."

"I hope so."

General Caraway stood up, looking towards Squall. _"So, Rinoa… I'll only say this once, but it turns out you have a decent little family here. You did well."_ He stopped, they thought he'd leave it there, but somehow he had to go one step too far. _"If this worked, and you are somewhere in Squall's head, don't touch anything unless you have disinfectant with you."_

"Uggh, really?" she moaned.

"That was possibly the nicest thing he'd ever said about me so I'm marking it in the win column."

"Sadly, you're right."

" _Are you ready to PAR-TAY?!"_ A shrill voice echoed in the room. Selphie literally jumped into sight, as Party-Squall turned toward her direction. She'd been so excited that everything was said in one breath.

" _Seriously Rinoa , the you here, or I mean the you in the other room, not_ _ **here-here**_ _, is being stubborn as usual. It took forever, but we finally pawned you off on Cid and Edea so the rest of us could have fun! Not that we didn't want you to because we seriously do, that's sort of the point here_ _ **,**_ _but since you're already here again_ _ **,**_ _not really here-here but the one from the future that's playing the part of fairy in Squall's head. I just mean two yous would be a little confusing – well, more to the you here-here and not the you the fairy because you in there knows there are two yous, the other one? Not so much. Plus, it's not that_ _ **we**_ _can mix up the physical version of you with the fairy in Squall's head – oh, oh, oh speaking of that, what's it like? I bet it's scary in there, I bet everything is organized and labeled all official-like. Don't touch anything or you'll knock all his thoughts over…kinda like one of those movies where someone touches the front motorcycle in the parking lot then they all tumble down like dominos. Then you'd have to fix his thoughts and if you didn't put them back in the right place, he could think your kid is Zell not Skyler and then if you'd really put his memories in the wrong place so he'd think he's married to Quistis or a Chocobo something, which really isn't that weird, I've heard of stranger things happening. So yeah, don't touch anything in there!"_

" _I told her to bring disinfectant,"_ Caraway added in a deadpan voice.

"Oh yeah! That right because I'm sure with as much as he works, maybe his brain could use a little tidying up. Then again, he's so anal-retentive I'm sure he cleans it out daily, getting rid of irrelevant information like Cid's shoe size or maybe he's hired a maid or something to keep his brain clean."

" _Stop, take a breath."_ Irvine came up, putting his hand on her shoulder. Although they'd been divorced for a while now, he still had a way of helping calm her down.

" _Seriously, what did you have to drink…? This is weird, even for you and that's saying something."_ Watts stood up as the game had been put on temporary hiatus. It also seemed like everyone was slowly trickling into the room.

" _She had a Red Behemoth Hi-Potion Energy drink,"_ Quistis explained as she walked into the room, " _I tried to stop her, but sadly…my efforts were in vain. In passing, someone mentioned that energy drinks probably wouldn't have an effect on her because her natural personality was already the equivalent to one…unfortunately, the sarcasm got lost in translation and by the time it hit Selphie's ears, she interpreted it as a dare. I fear for all of us, actually, I fear for society in general."_

Both Squall and Rinoa caught the fact that her eyes had briefly darted over to Zell, who looked away rather sheepishly. _"For the record, I had Dr. K check her out. She said that Selphie was fine on a medical level, although she did say god help us all."_

"You know, I'm not sure if I should be offended or not." Rinoa couldn't help but laugh. "If so, I'm not sure what I should be offended about. There are so many things to possibly choose from."

"I think you should be offended. Maybe. I don't know, maybe I'm the one that should be offended. I'm not sure how being married to a Chocobo would work, although maybe they wouldn't hog the covers so much."

"…Yeah, now I'm officially offended." She laughed.

" _Aunt Selphie, Aunt Quistis…Uncle Robert, guess who's here?"_

" _I know!" Selphie replied excitedly. "Now we can stop talking about you behind your back. You think I'm kidding, I'm not…you know how long your daughter and husband had been planning this? Okay, not real long, but they weren't talking about it enough, so I filled in the blanks."_

" _She did, she really did."_ Robert readily agreed. He'd been around this group for years now, but they never failed to surprise him.

" _Oh Squall, you did know you're wearing a honey badger on your shirt, didn't you? Which is totes-cool but not you."_

" _Actually, it makes sense - both Squall and the honey badger don't care,"_ Robert pointed out.

" _Haha! I knew I could get one of you to say it."_ Selphie went into a little victory dance. It had become quite the popular catch phrase from a video narrated by former Lt. Biggs.

"Rinoa, you do know that I didn't have a damn clue what was going on? Seriously, they could've been speaking ancient Centran and it might've made more sense."

Rinoa couldn't help it, she burst out laughing. "I love you so much, but yes, this is totally out of your league." He was definitely the last person to look at social media. Skyler, however, started laughing and to her great shock, even her father had a smile. It seemed that he truly was the only person in the room who didn't get it.

" _Help me,"_ Quistis said, before taking a sip of her champagne. _"It's been like this all night - apparently my husband and Selphie have a penchant for internet things."_

" _Things,"_ Selphie scoffed, _"You're such a Noob."_

" _They're called memes, by the way."_ Robert smiled as he handed Quistis a full glass of alcohol.

"Is it possible to get second-hand embarrassment, not once, but twice from the same conversation? This my second time hearing this conversation and it still makes no sense," Squall explained from the abyss, although at least this time he didn't have to suffer alone. "This whole exchange was different, awkward to say the least, and after the Irvine and Lauren thing, that says a lot."

"Different is a good word. But seeing everyone again is… wow… Quistis looks amazing and Robert has actually gotten so much better with age…he's actually…wow…um, hot."

"And now I have second-hand embarrassment from this conversation."

"Hey, he's my cousin - I'm the one that should be embarrassed."

"You should. You really should."

"Meanie. I just call them like I see them." After she said it, the meaning hit her – it was like she'd thought earlier. It _was_ always about the little things, even something as simple as a completely-arbitrary phrase. It had well over a decade since she could say that, meaning it on a literal level.

She hadn't realized what was happening, as she was sure it took Squall a second to process it too, but Selphie had grabbed Squall, pulling him into an embrace.

" _Ahh, Rinny, I'm so glad that you're here. In there. Here, I mean! Sorry I have to fondle your husband to give you a hug."_

"Did she just say…fondle?" Rinoa asked, caught between horror and hysterical laughter.

"I blocked it out. I blocked a lot of this out. I don't think these people realize that you can't feel what I'm feeling. They all kept touching me. Unfortunately, she's not the last one."

" _Glad to see you cuz….or technically glad you can see me. All I see is your husband giving me a rather annoyed look while Selphie is currently doing her imitation of a leech. Hopefully, some of this makes sense to you; I've had a few glasses of champagne with my wife, so absolutely none of this makes sense to me."_ Robert smiled, draping his arm around Quistis. _"And also, if I don't say it enough, thank you for giving Mr. Personality second chance fifteen years ago - if it wasn't for that, you would've never introduced me to your friends."_

Quistis laughed. _"He means thank you for introducing him to the only sane one."_

" _Daddy, what's sane?"_ Skyler looked up at her dad, _"I keep hearing that word but I don't get what it means."_

" _Ironically, nobody around here knows what it means either. If I happen to find it around here, I'll point it out to you. Fair warning, you may be well into your teens by then."_ Selphie had let go and, almost immediately,Party-Squall reached down to pick up his daughter. Rinoa had a good inclination that she was also being used as a shield so maybe less people would feel the need to 'fondle' her husband if he was holding Skyler.

" _Trust me Skyler, your father can't find sanity around here because it's lost. Also, those who say they're sane are usually the most insane, right Quistis? But who wants to be normal anyhow? That's just boring."_

Selphie cut in, trying to contain her laughter. The way she was laughing at nothing or almost nothing… When he swore he saw her get hysterical over her toes as she moved them through her sandals, he started to seriously worry about her. Once this self-induced caffeine high was over, it was bound to be one major crash. It was then he caught onto something, watching it for the second time; it was brief, but there was a momentary flash of emotion on the former SeeD's face. Sorrow? Maybe…Squall was horrid at this, but he had an inkling that Selphie regretted leaving SeeD and Balamb…and yes, even leaving Irvine. She appeared to happy in her new life, at least for the most part, and Carl too appeared to be decent guy from what Squall knew…Yet, he never saw that spark that had been there when she had been with Irvine.

Still, if he had seen anything at all, it had disappeared as soon as Zell and Alex joined the small group. Selphie smiled ear-to-ear again, looking between the two couples. _"All you guys are soo lucky, plus you have the whole fairytale thing going on. Quistis, isn't it every girl's dream to marry a male dancer?"_

" _No, it's every girl's dream to_ _ **be**_ _a dancer,"_ she corrected.

" _Well, marrying a male dancer was the dream of half of the men in our company,"_ Robert added.

" _Actually, I think you meant it's every guy's dream to marry a dancer. I know it was my dream to marry a dancer,"_ Zell put his arm around Alex.

" _No he meant a male dancer_ ," Alex corrected with a smirk.

"Oh, yeah right, it was my dream to marry a male dancer..." As if on cue, everyone started laughing. "No, no, no… that's not what I meant."

" _That's true. The dancer aspect was irrelevant."_

" _Exactly…wait no. Psshh, guys, be nice, this party is for Rin."_

" _Oh, trust me, she's enjoying it."_

" _Wait, I didn't think you could tell?"_ Selphie asked curiously.

" _I can't, but she's always getting on me to enjoy myself. And I was just mildly amused."_

"Meanie," Rinoa laughed, scolding the man in her head.

"Was I wrong?"

"No. No you weren't, but that's not the point, you're still a meanie."

Selphie shrugged her shoulders _,_ looking at Squall but speaking directly to Rinoa _. "I'm going to get all of us to dance later, just for you Rinoa."_

" _Can we?"_ Skyler asked in excitement, _"Please, I bet mom would love to."_

" _Trust me, if she's in my head right now, it's no place for her to be if I try dancing."_

At that moment a few other people walked in the room, but since Squall was looking at Skyler, Rinoa couldn't make out who it was.

" _Skyler, you go take your mom..um…dad…your mom-dad around the room. I'll get them to dance yet, leave it to me."_ Selphie said excitedly. _"My boys have been taking lessons."_

" _They what?"_ Party-Squall started, but figured some cans of worms were best left tightly sealed. Honestly, he wondered how much this group as a whole had to drink. Technically, Irvine wasn't working tonight, but just about every time he spotted him, the man was behind the counter in full bartender mode. Honestly, Squall easily believed that the guy was a wiz when it came to alcohol. However, when it came to women and guns, jury was still out seventeen years later.

" _Skyler, we need to keep moving, I don't think Aunt Elle can keep this up much longer…and there's two people your mother needs to see."_

" _Grandpa!"_ The girl's enthusiasm outweighed her fear of gravity. Flinging herself from his arms, she ran across the room, which required skill as she held up her long dress. In that moment, the eyes of her parents were on her – all four of them – as both Rinoas and Squalls watched her. They knew this was for her as much as it was for Rinoa; she had every bit the determination and stubbornness as both her parents.

"So, how much did everyone have to drink?" Rinoa's voice betrayed her words. Squall could tell she was doing her damndest to hold it together, on the verge of breaking down. Instead of focusing on the fact this would all be ripped away from her soon, she did her best to joke around. "You know, I couldn't shake this feeling that I'd been abandoned all night. I asked a few times were everyone was at and either Cid or Edea would expertly deflect the question. Actually, I was somehow roped into a rather –one-sided conversation about Cid's Garden. And no, not the type that fights battles, the one that grows things and is sadly in the midst of a severe beetle infestation. I never knew there were so many types of beetles. I got to hear all about how some are harmful while others are helpful…This Squall, this is information I now know that I _never_ wanted to know. I will make him share it with you - in fact, you're having lunch with him next Tuesday so clear your calendar. And I'm not kidding, really. Also, a word of advice, for your sake, don't ever – _ever_ – mention bunny rabbits, because they're not the cute fluffy white balls of fur I've always been led to believe by the liberal media and the stuffed animal I got when I was three. No, they're both full of lies. The truth is that they're cold-blooded evil killers that stalk their leafy victims, before feeding on the flesh of vegetables in the cover of darkness… you know, when nobody can hear the carrots scream."

"Melodramatic much?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"I was talking about _you_ ," Squall pointed out, "I suppose us getting him a lucky rabbit's foot for his birthday would be considered in bad taste."

"Or maybe in very good taste, depending on the rabbit it came from and if the rest of it could be used for rabbit stew."

"Aren't we feeling a little dark tonight? You know dark, as when nobody can hear the carrots scream?"

Rinoa laughed at the way he gave the deadpan response. Tonight had unintentionally reminded her of something else, something she often overlooked – it was how little Squall talked around others. She'd been with him so long and their conversations tended to flow so naturally that hearing his short, sometimes abrupt, answers reminded her just how special she and Skyler had been.

"Oh Squall, I get to see you dance soon, it's time to get your grove on and PAR-TAY!"

"Is it possible to have a headache, even when I don't technically have a head right now?"

They both became silent, but he could feel her want to break down. He didn't whisper words of support; he didn't remind her that he was there if she needed him. He didn't have to. In this case, she knew that he was there and sometimes there were no words. She'd seen her father, no matter how brief, but their relationship had been somewhat strained; she loved him, but they'd never been truly close. Not like with Laguna. After both him and Skyler, Squall knew that this would be the hardest. Seeing both Laguna and Ellone would be worlds apart from the rest of their friends.

Rinoa's silence had been the loudest thing he'd heard all evening.

" _Grandpa Laguna, guess what, mommy's here!"_ The little girl threw her arms around Laguna's neck as he sat. It hadn't dawned on him earlier but, in that moment, a flood of memories came back - when he was in Rinoa's position, when he was the fairy watching the world through his father's eyes. He hadn't known then, hadn't realized that he'd been with his own blood; looking back, he often wondered how he'd fell if he'd known Raine had been his mother. How he would've felt to see her for the first and only time. Maybe he'd have exchanged some of his irritation for a few moments of awe. But he didn't know. And that was one of the regrets he'd have to live with, he was thankful that it was an aspect Rinoa wouldn't have to face at the very least.

Maybe it was because he'd been thinking about Raine, but he hadn't noticed when his father stood up and he was even more surprised when Laguna pulled him into a hug; again, it most likely owed to the false impression that Rinoa was able to feel but he didn't say anything. He didn't reciprocate, just stood there unmoving – to Laguna, that was a victory in itself. It had been the first, and most likely, only time he'd be able to hug his son.

" _Rinoa, we're so glad you're here. I hope Squall's being nice, I'm afraid to know what he's thinking. But I'm sure you'll make him behave…if you don't, I'm sure Skyler will get on his case."_ As he stepped back, Rinoa could see Ellone resting on a small settee. If she thought everyone else was hard to recognize, then no words fit Ellone. Thin, pale, and so fragile, she had on a long dress, but was wearing a robe, most likely because for its added comfort. Her hair was cut short, looking as if it had been shaved at one point. All these things made her wonder how this woman was strong enough to basically bend time, to give them this opportunity together…it was beyond words.

"Rinoa, I hope this is everything we hoped it was. I'm sorry I can't do more." It took everything she had just to speak - each word was strained. If this is what she looked and sounded like before, what was this encounter doing to her? In that second, she actually feared the possibility that she wouldn't be able to wake up after this.

" _You have a beautiful daughter. I'm sure you already knew this goes beyond what she looks like, but the person she is on the inside. You and Squall are wonderful people - I never had any doubt that you'd make wonderful parents."_

" _I did… Let's face it - you guys had the deck stacked against you when you had Fury and I as fathers."_

" _Oh Uncle Laguna, you guys aren't that bad,"_ Ellone tried to laugh, but it almost didn't sound…human.

"You never said she was this bad," Rinoa finally whispered.

"I was trying to spare you…I knew it would be difficult."

"Squall, it's difficult for you. That's why I want to know. Please, you need to stop trying to spare me…I can handle this, we're in this together."

"I know. Sometimes I just need a little kick as a reminder." He seemed to be thinking about something - she could tell that much from his regular bouts of silence. "Rinoa, I don't know if she's going to wake up tomorrow."

"…Somehow, I knew this." she admitted.

"But if she doesn't, that's all right. I know it sounds so damn callous, but this is what she wanted."

"It's not callous, it's the truth. I know she wanted to do this too."

"I didn't stay with her long her now. I did speak to her later when you weren't with me, but I needed to keep this short - she'd made that request beforehand. Ellone didn't want tonight to be about her condition. She wanted it to be about us, about a celebration."

"You followed her wishes to a T – she'd be proud. She's already proud of you. So, no more tears for her."

"For Ellone," he repeated. He had been crying earlier - something she just somehow knew. "Plus, it's just about time for me to make a huge ass of myself."

"Ah Squall, your ass isn't that huge."

"Ha-ha. How very Zell of you," he responded in a deadpan tone.

" _Come on everyone, it's time for Irvine to bust a grove."_

" _Oh man, did someone just say that really? Hello, my preteen years just called, they want that saying back."_ As emotional as all this had been, she couldn't remember laughing so much in one night. Squall turned to see that everyone was making a circle in the room. They saw Nida up in front, looking through the music selection.

" _What type of music do you want? I hear you're an expert dancer. I knew that Rinoa, Robert, and Alex were, but can't image you up on stage in tights."_

" _Yeah, Irvine in tights is a mental image I've had for years."_ Zell laughed.

" _Really? Are you sure about that you're not…well, you know? You seem to have this weird fixation with Irvine, just sayin'"_ Alex was amused as she placed her hand on her husband's shoulder.

" _No, see it's because of a joke, you know from when Maude was…see Irvine and Squall pretended that and…"_ Zell threw his hands up exasperation, _"Oh whatever."_

Rinoa watched as Squall looked as she came in. There was still something strange about seeing herself; this time she was led by Cid and Edea.

" _What's going on?"_

" _Don't ask questions, just go with it. We're all going to dance."_

" _We're going to what?"_ Party-Rinoa asked, unsure if she'd heard right, _"It sounded like you said we're all going to dance."_

" _Yeppers!"_ Selphie chirped excitedly. _"You, Robert, and Alex may be the best ballerinas in the room…wait, are male dancers called ballerinas? Ballermaleas? Mennarinas? I'm going with Balladudes since that sounds all macho. So getting back to the point, and I swear there is one, while you guys might be ballet dude and dudettes, Irvine's the tap king. Remember at Fisherman's Horizon? He kicked tap ass."_ She covered her mouth, looking at Skyler.

" _I'm sorry, my bad. I said a bad word, he kicked tap butt. Kay?" Skyler narrowed her eyes, slightly confused, but nodded anyhow. If Aunt Selphie thought that was the worst word she'd ever heard, she was sorely mistaken._

" _How much have you had to drink?"_ Party-Rinoa asked, not being privy to the Behemoth Energy drink story.

" _No alcohol, I promise! Now, everyone make a circle."_

" _I really don't want to do this. I'll sit it out."_

" _No way. You're in this with me. Tapping wasn't my forte."_

" _Fine, I'm blaming you…just because, well, it's convenient."_

" _I take full responsibility then."_

Squall grumbled as he took Rinoa's hand. He desperately wanted to get out of this, but he couldn't exactly say specifics. He didn't know if it would be more suspicious if he did this or not. He'd already done a small protest, which was more for show, as he had to act someone disgusted or it wouldn't exactly feel right. However, any debate about quitting was put to rest the moment Skyler reached for his free hand. On the other side of her was his father.

Then he looked up _, really_ looked up and everyone was there, well, besides Ellone, but he turned and saw her smiling. Then he looked at the people around him – they were all their closest friends plus others such as, Xu, Nida...and even Fury and the Kinneasi clan. Maybe for the first time he saw what tonight was truly about – it was more than a birthday party, more than Rinoa seeing for one night, this was also a farewell of sorts –the last time they'd all truly ever be together. It was ironic that during all this time, he thought he knew what was going on, but in the end, he was the one who learned to see.

When he and Rinoa first got together, she said she danced to both remember and to forget. She danced because in those moments, the possibilities were endless… she wasn't blind, she could see forever. Maybe he didn't get it then, but knowing Rinoa and meeting Skyler, he was only beginning to understand. So it didn't matter what he'd feel like, how stupid he'd felt, it just mattered that he danced.

Irvine didn't allow music at first as he started a tap 101 class.

Squall found that, much like in battle, he had to say the steps as he went through them. It was one of those little known things, but it helped him keep on his game…or in this case, in rhythm.

" _Step, ball-change. Step, ball-change. Heel. Heel…hop,"_ he mumbled under his breath.

" _Call the authorities - we've reached DEF-CON Squall. He's tapping."_ Irvine laughed, watching his boss dance. He wasn't too bad, although it was better not to draw attention to that, considering it'd probably make him mope around and then quit.

" _I'm not tapping. I'm moving my foot on carpet while wearing loafers. Seriously, Rinoa, I feel like a fool, how do I get dragged into your crazy schemes?"_

" _Because Grandpa Laguna made you marry her,"_ Skyler said matter-of-factly.

Quistis laughed, raising an accusatory eyebrow towards the commander. _"Something you neglected to mention all these years?"_

Party-Squall merely grunted, ignoring the comments with precise skill. However, the conversation in his head had only begun. "Squall… was there really something you'd care to mention? Oddly I can see my father with a shotgun chasing you away and yours with a machine gun getting you to stay."

"Decisions. Decisions… but seriously, our daughter has **your** imagination. And I'm sure in Laguna's version of the story, he may have nudged me, but the decision had already been made."

She didn't have time to appreciate the sentiment, because he finished the sentence for her. "I should clarify, the decision was made by _**your father**_ _._ The General is both convincing and intimidating. Plus, I wasn't on his list of 'acceptable men' so I had to act fast…before he found the shotgun bullets. Now you know."

"Even if he didn't like you, I would've married you…so what does that say?" she joked, knowing that her father had actually grown to like Squall by then, or at least appreciated his commitment to his daughter.

"You're as delusional as he is."

"You're incorrigible as your father and I'm delusional as mine. We're perfect together." She watched as he seemed to stare mostly at his feet but, given the circumstances, it was understandable.

"You know, you're not bad at this, have a secret tap fetish I don't know about?"

He didn't answer, because Irvine broke up the conversation in his head. _"Come on Squall, put a little hip action into it. Or maybe not, you suddenly look rather flushed… too much hip action?"_ Irvine laughed, only half-teasing as Party-Squall looked to Party-Rinoa who was beside him.

" _I'm doing this for you and Skyler. Love you."_ At the party, Rinoa believed the comment was directed at her, and maybe it was, but she also had the feeling that it wasn't just to the then-present version of herself, but to the future version as well. He looked at everyone around him as they all attempting to tap, something they'd never done as a group and undoubtedly, something they'd never try again.

And then, it all started to fade.


	5. Act V and Epilogue

And then, it all started to fade.

Rinoa wasn't ready to say goodbye, she never would be. As painful as it was, Ultimecia's words held a grain of truth - _time waits for no one._

She prepared herself to wake up in bed – happy, sad, confused, yet full of clarity. Her business felt undone – she doubted that it could ever feel complete. One more minute. One more second. Always, just one more glimpse. She'd always _want_...

She woke up in bed...well, sort of. She wasn't lying down, rather sitting, but what came into view wasn't clear. Dark and hazy - her field of vision was limited at best. It took a second to realize anything, but she knew this wasn't her bedroom.

"Is she here yet?" The little girl's voice was filled with hope, but also laced in doubt. Ellone was fighting hard for these minutes; Rinoa could almost feel her struggle, maybe Skyler could too.

"Asking over and over won't change the outcome. I said that I'd tell…." Squall paused. "She's here."

There had been a definite relief to his voice. It might've been because Rinoa had connected, or realistically, because Ellone was still alive.

"Mommy! We wanted to show you one last thing!" The room hadn't been entirely in focus, but she saw what she needed to – the beautiful angel in front of her.

"Daddy made this for me…I kept it safe. I told him one day you'd see it, but he didn't believe me. And look, _**I**_ was right and _**he**_ was wrong!"

"…You know how much I hate admitting that I was wrong...so I won't. Skyler just misheard me...for over six years." Squall tried to be serious, but Skyler called his bluff.

"No, Dad was _sooo_ wrong! I was soo right!"

He softly chuckled. "Rin, she has your determination and stubbornness, don't ever bet against her. If she puts her mind to it, she's exactly like you," Squall finished as he reached under the bed.

"Yay, but I'm not going to put a bracelet on a bad sorceress…that's a really bad idea mommy, even Lucky knows that. Oh, wait, you gotta see him, he's family too!"

Smiling, Skyler held up her stuffed Chocobo proudly. Poor ol' Lucky, Rinoa noted that she'd made it through time compression far more unscathed than the accident-prone bird. She remembered buying it before Skyler was even born, technically this would be Lucky the third. She remembered the day her mother gave her one with tears in her eyes; this had been a Heartilly family tradition that now spanned three generations.

"Squall?"

The memories of her mother mixed with her daughter had been too much. Rinoa called, expecting him to answer. _Needing_ him to answer.

Silence.

It dawned on her, she was alone. Ellone barely had the strength to bring her; this was a journey she had to face on her own. Again it became surreal, here she was in Squall's mind, seeing through his eyes, but he'd never felt further away. She could do this. _These_ minutes were truly Ellone's last gift. Right now, Rinoa needed to be as strong as Ellone; she couldn't look at this as an ending, but merely a beginning to all the new dreams yet to be dreamed. The ones where Skyler wasn't just a voice, but a voice attached to the beautiful young girl she was.

"Here." Squall handed a large cerulean blue book to his daughter. It was almost square; it reminded her of all the photo albums her friends' parents kept of them growing up. Her father hadn't been one to stand on sentiment. True, she had school photos taken time to time, but she had no idea where any of those went, honestly.

Squall was sentimental, although he went to great lengths to conceal this fact. The book in her hand proved just how wonderful he could be...when nobody was looking.

Skyler opened the first page and, just like that, a new onslaught of emotions engulfed her. It appeared to be a professional photograph taken onstage during a ballet performance. There had been words too, but her mind couldn't focus enough to read. In that instant, her memories were lost in the past. The white tea-length netted skirt had been one of her favorite costumes. She remembered how the overhead lights would hit the crystals on the bodice and, added with the rest of the company, the stage was breathtaking. The crystals acted as if they were a thousand tiny prisms, covering every visible surface with color.

...And suddenly, her mind allowed her to believe that she was dancing inside a rainbow.

It may seem silly and that's why she'd never told anyone. Of course, that had been before she'd lost her sight. After the accident, she repressed that memory as she had so many others. Like chasing fireflies, it was easier to let the regret live on, but Rinoa had taken this as a wake-up call.

Seeing her daughter holding that picture, seeing who she'd been, was bittersweet. She loved dancing. _Up there_ , she was exactly who she wanted to be, not bound by titles or expectations. The beauty was in the intense emotions that dancing allowed her to experience. It was inexplicable. It was the unsurpassed freedom contained within the movement. The performance, itself, was the dream she wanted the audience to remember. But once she unlaced her shoes, the dream passed into memory. What remained were the physical reminders - the scars and calloused skin, the endless amounts of tape, the countless ice packs, and the soaking baths – hot and cold – for the sore and bruised muscles.

The pictured captured all of that. And more.

" _If your castles in the sky are out of reach, never forget our castles on the beach."_ Skyler read the quote that surrounded the picture . Looking up, she proudly spoke to her mother, "Dad wrote that for me. He's good at that stuff…but he told me not to tell you. I think he's _barrassed._ "

" _That's_ _ **em**_ _barrassed,"_ Squall corrected.

"I know that, but Colton told me that _barrased_ is always better. And since you're really, really embarrassed, it works, right?"

There was a long pause as Squall worked that one out.

" _Dear god,"_ Squall mumbled into his hand, utterly horrified. "If Colton's saying what _I think_ he's saying... I'm having a very frank discussion with Irvine tomorrow. Just…just trust me Skyler, it's embarrassed."

Rinoa admitted she was too emotional for this to make sense, but it seemed Squall had understood. Either way, Skyler wasn't phased as she cheerfully chirped 'okay' while moving onto the next page. It was their wedding on the beach. Rinoa hadn't worn a long, formal gown, rather opted for a tea-length, ivory length dress, with a ballerina waist. Until this moment, she hadn't made the connection, but ironically it had similarities to the costume on the previous page – down to the fine layer of netting and crystals on the bodice. Her hair was pulled back and several baby-roses had been weaved in throughout. Squall wore his SeeD uniform; there was a great bit of nostalgia seeing it again.

Skyler turned the next page to a picture of her as a baby.

"Gah, I'm ugly…I look like a baby Tonberry!"

"Actually, you're right. I see the resemblance to a newborn Tonberry." Squall deadpanned. "Better to be our 'Baby-Berry' than our Baby-Blobra."

"Dad!" She whined, nudging her body into him.

"I was being nice. I _wanted_ to say that you looked like our little Baby-Blobra Butt."

"Meanie!" Skyler immediately broke into laughter.

Rinoa laughed along with her family, she loved watching them like this. She'd always been able to hear their exchanges but, witnessing it firsthand, would never be forgotten. And seeing a baby picture of Skyler – _there were no words_ – it was beyond magical. Although, she had to laugh because there was a 'small' ring of truth to it. No, she certainly wouldn't go as far as a Tonberry or a Blobra, but Skyler really had turned out better than her baby picture. But hands down, looking in front of her at 'both Skylers,' this truly was the single-most beautiful sight that she'd ever seen. She would break it to Squall later, but him standing against the wall in his SeeD uniform, just got demoted to second place.

After that, Squall and Skyler had a short, albeit playful, round of calling each other Blobra butts, doing that ever childish 'am not – are too.' For some reason, the word 'butt' stuck with her...and suddenly, Colton's "barrased" comment made sense. It wasn't about being embarrassed. It was about being - _**bare assed**_ \- because, in his words, "it was always better." Oh you better believe that Squall would be having a talk with Irvine.

But, right now, Rinoa couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. It was just so utterly stupid that it was actually sort of funny. Of course, this fact probably made her a very bad mother, but she'd feel bad about that one later.

Rinoa started to notice as her surroundings began to ebb and fade more. She so desperately wanted to hold on, but that it could be any moment. Ellone was already sacrificing so much. Rinoa would never be selfish. She cherished every sight, every second, every moment, and it was hard to explain but she cherished feeling normal.

"Okay mommy, here they are! This is what I really wanted to show you" Skyler beamed as she flipped open the next page. "Daddy never wanted me to forget them and now I don't want you to forget either."

And there they were, the single most defining aspect of their family.

Sandcastles.

Pages and pages filled with sandcastles.

_Their castles._

From the ones when Skyler was a baby, to ones that they'd built last week.

In short, it was their history as a family.

To her surprise, there was a picture of their very first attempt. Skyler was still an infant, but they'd gone to the beach to watch the sunset. While there, Squall admitted that, even though he lived at the beach while at the orphanage, he'd never build a sandcastle. She wanted to help him recapture that moment of childhood - if only she knew. They 'd asked a little boy if they could borrow his pail. The structure was far from an intricate, well thought-out design. It had been a single pail of packed sand, simply set on the beach. He had added a door and a few other small things but, what she remembered most, was the two sticks protruding directly out of the top as they had virtually no artistic merit. Those sticks hadn't been her idea of 'artist-merit,' so she had to ask. His claim? They were antennas and the castle was now officially cable-ready. Rinoa smiled as the photograph became part of that memory; even more, she was taken aback that her husband had thought of taking a picture back then.

They'd all come a long way since that first attempt. The later castles were complex, with levels and turrets, gates and moats. However, today Squall Leonhart had been caught - his was secret out. In every picture there were two small sticks on the structures, usually camouflaged into a tower. It seemed that she found his signature, making sure that every castle was able to receive satellite television. She loved him even more for it.

Seeing everything in the album was amazing. Some were as big as Skyler and a few that no bigger than her hand. Rinoa had known that sometimes Squall would take pictures, but she had no idea it was to this extent. It wasn't just pictures, but he'd taken the time to make them works of art.

The darkness had begun to take over, slowly eating away her sight like a disease. However, she was able to see the picture from today. Somehow, Squall had time not only to develop it, but place it into the album.

In the picture...she saw everyone. Everything.

They all had posed, holding a large banner in front of them that everyone had signed it. It simply said "We love you." One last time she saw almost everyone's face and sitting square in the middle was Squall Skyler plopped on his lap. The Sandcastle Princess looked exactly how Rinoa would always remember her - bathing suit, messed up ponytail, and all. She looked like an angel. _Their angel._

The faces of Squall and Skyler were the last things she saw. She focused on them until her world returned to the darkness.

Time only proved that was the last thing Rinoa Leonhart ever saw with her eyes.

**-o-O-o-**

  
**Sandcastles  
** **[Epilogue]**  


**-o-o-O-O-o-o-**

In the end, it was worth it.

It was amazing. It was perfect. It was everything Rinoa had ever wanted, if only for an evening. One last time, she was able to see her friends, her husband, and most of all - for the first and last time – their daughter. Ellone had woken up the next morning, a chance for not only Rinoa, but for Squall and Skyler to thank her. Ellone never regretted her choice, nobody ever doubted that. Maybe that's why when she didn't wake up the following morning, August 25th, the pain had been a little easier.

She'd gone out on her terms.

Ellone didn't have a funeral service that had been her specific request. Her husband had flown in the night of the party, already knowing the outcome. Of all things, while they celebrated Squall's birthday, he finalized Ellone's arrangements. He was there before she connected them, they shared their own last moments.

Since everyone Ellone loved or cared about was already in Balamb, they held a wake two days later. Her body had been cremated and her remains placed into the ocean, because that's what she wanted. Ellone often talked about she loved the water. While she was being protected by the White SeeDs, the ocean had been her greatest source of comfort. As they spread the ashes, Skyler pointed out that Ellone wasn't alone – Angelo was there.

Angelo was there to protect her in death, just as she'd protected Rinoa in life.

To his surprise, Squall liked that thought. Ellone loved animals and Angelo loved everyone; it was poetic.

And to fulfill at least one promise, a week after Ellone's passing, all three Leonharts traveled to Timber for a new puppy. Yes, Rinoa went too. Squall knew that her earlier stubbornness was an idle threat. She'd wanted a new pet just as much as Skyler. There had been places closer, but there was something nostalgic about Timber, the past tied her here. It could've been to honor Angelo or it might've been because, as a family, they needed to step away from Balamb for a few days. As always, Zone and Watts were there to greet them. Now that she knew his secret, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease Zone about being 'folliclly' challenged.

As for the new four-legged addition to the family, Watts had married a woman who volunteered part-time at a shelter. They met Erica outside of town, ready to go pick out a new puppy but, as destiny doesn't often follow a script, they didn't walk out of the shelter with a puppy, rather they'd adopted not one, but two dogs. Or as Squall liked to put it, the dogs adopted them.

One had been a stray, while the other had been abused, but somehow the pair of canines bonded. Squall was adamant that they were picking only one, but that threat lasted all of two minutes. It didn't help that he had Skyler begging on one side, his wife on the other. On the drive home, he mused his family had almost doubled in size. Since Skyler was a fan of web-based shows, especially the one about nature that was a sensation after _webisode_ about honey badgers, she wanted to name one dog Badger. However, on the drive home, Rinoa recounted how she and Squall had meant the show's narrator, Biggs, on their travels. Even Squall laughed about their encounters with not only Biggs, but also his cohort (and later discovered life-partner) Wedge – after Skyler heard the tales, the names were set in stone. Thankfully, the new duo of Biggs and Wedge didn't get into nearly as much trouble as the originals. Squall also believed that the four-legged versions were considerable more intelligent - at least when dealing with common sense.

The next months were difficult; Squall's greatest fears had come to light. Rinoa had to come to terms with what she saw and what she'd never see again. When she closed at night, she'd see the sandcastles - they represented the future and the past; they represented their family and its perseverance.

Even before Rinoa's first memories of childhood, she knew that the concept of castles had always intrigued her - from the fairytales her mother read, well into her years as an adult. It was a fascination that she'd probably never outgrow. It would sound horrible to some but, the first time she laid eyes on Ultimecia's castle, there had been an overwhelming sense of awe. Rinoa would never forget the grotesque beauty in its design.

In the group of world saviors, she wondered if she'd been the only one who'd taken the time to examine its splendor. In another world, in another time, Rinoa believed that its magnificence couldn't be rivaled. In Rinoa's later years, thoughts about the castle had haunted her. In a macabre sense, that was Ultimecia's _Castle in the Sky_. The structure mirrored the pain and torment of a tortured sorceress. Rinoa had feared that if she had allowed her fears and regrets to take over, she'd be forced to live the same fate.

The people she loved had been there, just as they always were. They'd saved her. Selphie had been wise beyond her years. Everybody, peace and love – a sentiment that proved to be timeless.

It was difficult to admit, but Ultimecia hadn't been entirely wrong as time does escape and it doesn't wait for anyone – not even for world saviors. She'd been twisted, but like more things, it had been rooted in version of the truth. Because, yes, you should reflect on your childhood, on your life but, unlike the future sorceress, the past shouldn't become an obsession, but rather what you take from it, the values you'd been taught, should shape the person you are today.

 _Reflection_ and _regret_ were often synonymous in people's vocabularies, but maybe Ultimecia knew this fact and, in her wisdom, as twisted and perverse as it may be, she _wanted_ the two to merge, festering into a devastating weakness.

Rinoa had fallen victim to its sickness before the party and time-to-time, she still would. She'd admitted this to Squall and, if she began to fall, he was there. He couldn't do much, beside listen, but most of the time that's all she needed. He had always been her greatest strength, her knight in every way. And when she found herself getting lost in regret, he had a way of turning things into a positive. He reminded her that, like so many things in life, it was a matter of perspective, good or bad - _memories defined._ When she woke up in the middle of the night, she'd do her best to remember Squall's words and suddenly regret didn't seem so powerful.

The true extent of Skyler's wish would probably never be known – a single birthday wish wielded far more power than any sorceress or Guardian Force. It went beyond sight, at its core was something more compelling - _communication_. It opened her parents up to one another and _**all**_ the discussions they'd avoided in the past, were revisited. Something else that had been revisited, history, as it _does_ have a unique way of repeating itself.

...Or _almost_ repeating itself. This time, it wasn't Selphie's infamous New Year's party in July, rather it was a Valentine's Day party in _November._ Rinoa found humor in this, it appeared that the citizens of Balamb had a rather abstract concept of the word calendar. "Holidays" were merely suggestions and "months" were guidelines, at best, rather than resolute.

This time the mashed-up holiday had started because of Rinoa. Rinoa offhandedly mention that she wasn't overly fond of Valentine's Day since her accident. Selphie must have rubbed off on her ex-husband, because Irvine deduced the if he moved Valentine's to November, she'd enjoy it again. Not wanting to fall victim to regret, Rinoa begrudgingly agreed, plus she figured it could double as Irvine's birthday party.

Well, as history _also_ proved, the guy made a kick-ass drink. Years ago, Robert had witnessed the great Toothpick Battle and wanted to prove his prowess with a drink-inspired weapon. This time, Irvine upgraded. It wasn't merely a toothpick, but a toothpick with a paper umbrella attached at the end. This worked better with his duel Valentine's Day/tropical island theme – and Irvine was _totally about the theme_. Squall had a plethora of sarcastic retorts about the cowboy's getup; his shirt was a loose fitting, button-up that had a loud hibiscus floral print, royal blue and bright yellow. To top off the ensemble, he wore a flower lei and then purposelessly committed fashion's cardinal sin - socks with sandals. He looked liked ever tourist on the Balamb shore or, as Squall pointed out, Mayor Dobe on an average day

Thankfully, Skyler and the boys were spending the night with Cid and Edea so none of them were here to witness the blood-laden carnage of the umbrella toothpick incident…aka the really, _really_ big splinter Squall received. Rinoa joked that he'd become as melodramatic as Zell. The fact that he'd been drinking exacerbated the situation and, somehow, defying logic, the headmaster ended up cutting himself with _**tweezers.**_ After a detour to the infirmary, a few stitches, and odd looks by Elise. She was the new doctor on staff who Squall referred to as _"Not Dr. K_ " rather than by her name. On the way back to their apartment, Squall quipped that Rinoa could've done a better job getting the splinter out.

By the time they both got home, they were at the point where everything made them laugh, including a rather out-of-character remark where he jokingly referred to himself in third person. According to Rinoa, that was a rather unforgivable offense. In fact, so much so, that she informed him that, like Laguna and Caraway, he was now banned from all alcoholic beverages at holidays - real or imaginary.

Up until a few months ago, this simply wouldn't have happened. He rarely joked around, especially about her sight; he'd be too afraid that it would hurt her. But it wasn't done maliciously and he learned that she wasn't nearly as fragile as he tried to believe...plus, this time, it was more a jab at his horrible skills while inebriated.

That's why Skyler's birthday was important – he made that promise to protect her only from things she truly needed protecting from. This proved to be a prime example, it wasn't about shielding her from good-natured jokes; it was about waking up with her at 2am and letting her talk about her fears and just being there… Speaking of which, he'd only been _this drunk_ one other time. And nine months after that well – again this night was about history and repetition. It was a good thing Squall had already resigned himself to get up at 2am if she needed to discuss her feelings. This was good, because, in between listening to her talk and sleeping, they'd be working in late-night feedings.

The really had talked about everything, including everything they'd held back on. Both had wanted another child, but Squall would never ask that of her and Rinoa believed that he'd be too busy now that he was headmaster. "Valentine's Day" was neither planned nor unplanned, but neither did anything to stop it. There was a part of Rinoa who was truly sad she'd never see this child, there'd be no way. She hoped that the baby wouldn't grow up to regret it, but Squall pointed out that the new baby would have something that Skyler never had – an older sister to protect and guide her. Somehow, that made a difference. A few weeks shy of nine months, their second daughter was born. Rinoa found that between Skyler and Squall, it really did get easier the second time around.

Still, when her family was all out, it was hard when she was alone in the apartment, but thankfully, she was glad to have Biggs and Wedge to talk to – seriously, _those_ were words that she thought she'd never say. But like everything else, nothing turned out like she planned and she couldn't have been happier.

**-o-o-O-o-o-**

About four years later, they all found themselves home in the evening. A year after Brooke Ellone was born, they found that they'd outgrown their Garden apartment, especially when Biggs and Wedge insisted on both sleeping in the one bathroom - one inside the tub, one on the tile floor. It became like navigating an obstacle course. Not to mention that both Squall and Rinoa were adamant that the girls should have their own rooms. Until then, Brooke had been in the master suite, but it was about time that their petite roommate, no matter how cute she was, was 'evicted.' It was ironic, Squall was the one who was adamant about the girls having their own room as he felt it was an important way to keep their identity, helping them express themselves. Rinoa believed his feelings stemmed from over-correcting, which was ironic because he'd spent his childhood surrounded in conformity.

It didn't matter the reason, they had so many of them, but they moved into town. It was so much easier on Skyler as she was attending her private, non-military school. That's also where Brooke would be attending next year, although she'd already tested the waters by going to preschool.

They'd purchased a house in a newly developed suburb; Rinoa did have help a few times a week, for cleaning and such. She didn't like the idea at first, but it slowly grew on her. It also allowed her the freedom to keep working, so she continued to assist Quistis on days that Brooke attended preschool. It turned to be perfect, because if Squall had gone into work _ungodly_ early, she could hitch a ride with their neighbor - Quistis, Robert, and their one-year-old twin boys, ironically had purchased the house next door.

Of course, someone in their little group would have to do the 'twin thing.' Rinoa assumed this was a prerequisite in every little clique, it seemed fitting that Quistis had been the one. She just thanked her lucky stars it wasn't her and Squall. Fate had a sardonic sense of humor though, because Quistis had only one of the group was dead-set on only having one child but, after the initial shock, she and Robert took it all in stride. Although she couldn't exactly verify, Rinoa had often heard that the boys were immaculate, always looking as if they'd stepped out of a designer baby catalog. Rinoa's kids, well, they were perfectly messy, perfectly normal, but she never doubted that they were beautiful.

By almost every definition of the word, their life was very 'normal,' which was something nobody would've pictured years ago. Squall, however didn't drive a minivan, both Zell and Irvine had threatened bodily harm if he ever dared. When they first moved, Skyler had begun taking dance lessons, the youngest just a year ago. Brooke was ballet all the way, but Skyler was the tap-dance kid, much to her parent's dismay. Rinoa had a great suspicion that Uncle Irvine's influence had been at play. She tapped all over the place; in fact, Squall could hear _'step, ball-change, shuffle, shuffle, heel, heel, toe'_ in his sleep. Worse yet, he found himself doing that while doing dishes, although that secret would follow him to his grave.

As for the others, Zell and Alex were still in Deling. She was now pregnant with their second child. Their son Wil had just celebrated his fourth birthday, everyone seemed to be growing up so fast. Irvine and Lauren still dated - it was one of those constant _off_ and _on_ type things. As a joke, Zell bought one of those magnates meant for dishwashers with two sides that could be flipped to 'dirty/clean,' indicating that state of dishes. He took it, and with the all his artistic skill, or rather a permanent marker, changed it to 'dating/not dating.' In front of Lauren and Irvine, he ceremoniously placed it on Irvine's refrigerator with a bit of fanfare and flare, explaining that when people stopped by to visit, the question would be plainly answered.

Nobody would ever say it to Irvine, but it was obvious that he still held out hope for Selphie. He truly loved her; he had always been very hushed about why their marriage ended. As for Selphie, she and Carl _did_ get married, although again, Squall and Rinoa didn't know how happy she truly was, but that wasn't their business. Somehow, they both hoped that some way Irvine and Selphie would find their way back to one another. Of course, they felt bad for thinking that; Carl was a decent guy, but there was history between the other two and that was impossible to ignore.

They all had their own lives, their own families spread across the globe but, until the end, their fates would always be intertwined.

**-o-o-O-o-o-**

Again, tonight they had all found themselves at home.

The girls, now four and ten, were playing on the floor, while Biggs and Wedge watched over them and, every so often, Wedge let out an errant bark. Up on one side of the couch was the newest edition to the Leonhart clan, Esperanza, a stray cat that the dogs adopted (that was Skyler's version anyway) Squall wasn't thrilled, but he rarely was. He kept saying 'only one more night' but that threat lost it's steam a year and a half ago.

Rinoa had been rested on the couch, exhausted after a trip to the beach and, of course, after another castle by Leonhart Construction Inc.. She realized long ago how something as ordinary as sand could be transformed into something that went far beyond the sum of its materials. Unfortunately, over the last years, construction had slowed a bit. There were multiple reasons; the arrival of Brooke and Skyler's newfound love of tap dancing… Uncle Irvine would _never_ be thanked enough Really. It was also because of Squall's hectic schedule; he wasn't home a lot - lucky if it was one night a week, but they decided to always make the most of it.

The political climate had changed for the worse over the years and with Laguna announcing he was stepping down from his position in Esthar - things went from bad to worse. He'd given them five-year's notice, but Esthar was a country resistant to change and the hunt for a successor wasn't going well. To Laguna, his choice was personal. He'd lost so many years with Ellone and Squall and, after her passing, he wanted to be there for his grandkids. For once, Squall understood, and Rinoa believed that her husband had been secretly glad about his father's choice, although he'd never openly admit it.

So, the days at the beach had become fewer and their nights together were even less. Still, no matter his schedule, Squall cleared at least one day a month specifically for beach days. Squall openly admitted that he looked it as a mission, one that's importance rivaled anything SeeD had been hired for. In season, they'd go and build sandcastles but, when it was cooler, they'd find something else to do as a family. What they didn't know then, was that two years later, when Laguna officially resigned - Squall wouldn't be far behind.

Maybe his father could teach him something yet. Squall realized that as much time as he put into SeeD, it wasn't what he wanted to define him in the end. He'd remain on at Garden as the highest-ranked, most overqualified, gunblade instructor that SeeD had ever seen. The Headmaster duties eventually transferred over to Xu as she returned from her station at Trabia; she never married, her life revolved around Garden, but unlike Laguna and Squall she'd never regret that choice. Quistis had been the first choice, but she too had children by then and declined the position the second she was offered; it didn't take her nearly as long to realize what it took years for both Laguna and Squall. Then again, those Loire men were innately stubborn.

All of that was still a little ways down the road, but tonight was now.

Rinoa snuggled against Squall on the couch, as he wedged himself between his wife and the cat who detested him just as much as George the evil ferret; apparently, smaller animals weren't his foray. Luckily, he was adored by his children and, to _slightly_ a lesser extent, pet rocks. Loosely, he draped his arm around her as she fought to stay awake. She'd began drifting in and out of sleep, but her husband had given her a small squeeze. It was just enough to allow Skyler's words to drift into her subconscious as she'd begun reading to Brooke.

It was still hard for her sometimes, it always would be, regrets can be crippling, but they would all find a way. Living life for all it had to offer was something that had taken them all a little time. Rinoa understood that now. Just like she understood that life can be cruel, fueled by mistakes and misunderstandings, driven by regrets and fears. But it's the other side of life that makes it worth living, the one that's often born in serendipity, filled with hope and wonder – and most importantly, it's filled with sandcastles. Although, sometimes, maybe fate needs a tiny nudge, even if that means special-ordering something years ago.

"Brookie, look at this. Mommy gave it to me on Christmas Eve when was close to your age. Now it belongs to both of us. She bought it all the way in Deling City, where she grew up," Skyler said excitedly. Rinoa could hear the pages turn as the book opened.

"Where Uncle Zell and Aunt Alex live? And grandfather Caraway? And Aunt Selphie and Uncle Carl"

"Yep, and the boys too, when they're not staying with Uncle Irvine. It's a far away place."

"Are their dragons?"

"No, and if they were dad would slay them all." Skyler laughed. "Or Aunt Selphie would've blown them up by now. She likes that stuff."

"Ick, dragon guts!"

"Mom said we can take the train there next month. And promise, no dragons!"

"Cool." There was a long pause as few more pages flips. "Sky, can you read, _pease_?"

"Of course…but you have to do some of the work. When I say "turn" then you turn the page, 'kay?"

"Kay," she agreed eagerly. "What's it about"

"You'll see." She then began to read. " _Castles in the Sky, chapter one._ " Skyler stopped and seemed to hesitate. "You know what, Brookie? I don't think that works for us, lemme start over… _**Sand**_ _castles in the Sky_ , chapter one…"

" …I like that better, Sky."

…And so did Rinoa.

**-o-o-O-o-o-**

At night, Rinoa would dream of so many things. Over the next years, the collection of sandcastle pictures had continued to grown just as the girls continued to grow too – from teenagers to young ladies. Yet, Rinoa and Squall had grown the most; it was a metamorphosis that transcended time – they met as teenagers, grew to parents, and then, eventually down the road, into to grandparents. Both had held many titles over the years - _too many to count_ \- each one holding its own significance, but none so as important as 'parent' and being a part of a family.

They both had been many things to many people.

When Rinoa was young, she dreamed of princes and castles in the sky. Maybe those castles were out of reach or maybe they were never destined to be hers. It didn't matter. Castles built as status symbols wasn't who she truly was; if anything, it was merely an illusion rooted in childhood dreams. But those dreams weren't bad, they had made her who she was today.

It was a lifetime ago, but Rinoa would never forget Skyler's photo album. For years, she'd wake up at night and think about it, remember all the pictures of everything they'd created.

Then, after all this time, Rinoa realized something...

The night she saw, the night they danced...she had become the sandcastle.

For years, she and Squall had laid the walls and foundations of family. They'd built the turrets and battlements in their memories and helped the structure grow stronger through their mistakes. They'd spent their lives pouring their hearts into who they were; everything went into that one single night, including sacrifice. One night was all she saw but it was beautiful and, just like a sandcastle, all the work, love, and labor was put into something that's destiny was fleeting.

What she saw that night, would always go beyond words. Brief. Fleeting. But in those seconds, just before the tide's waters, she saw the world around her with all its splendor.

" _If your castles in the sky are out of reach, never forget our castles on the beach."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **End Notes:** First, in a not so serious moment, I'd like to thank my keyboard for sticking while I was typing 'embarrassed.' I grumbled under my breath, and my daughter thought I'd said 'bare-assed' and well, I had to right it in. Now, what's seen cannot be unseen and I each time I type that word, it's all I see. I wanted to share that random slice of life with all of you. :D
> 
> Next, well, that went a lot longer than I thought. I mentioned in the beginning this was taken from a one-chapter story I never published – the idea was that after their daughter was born, Ellone used Squall's eyes so Rinoa could see their newborn baby the first night they came home from the hospital. However, when I revisited the idea with Erica, I liked the idea of having the time pass in real time. The main difference between this and doing a story a year after the end of castles was that I had to create twelve years of history for the entire cast. I wanted to stay true to the original, but I also wanted real-life breaks and situations. The biggest hurdle was Ellone – if she'd been well, it was logical she would have connected Rinoa long before, so the only way I could get around it was for her to be ill. It seemed fitting that she'd sacrifice her time for her younger brother without question.
> 
> Of course, the biggest thing, the one that would never change, is that Rinoa wouldn't get her sight back. To me, with my story, that would've been the easy way out – it also would've negated everything that Castles was based on. It wasn't always about Rinoa accepting her blindness, but Squall too. I wanted to show that sometimes he tried to protect her too much. It's sort of the same lesson as in "Rebirth" with Quistis and Phoenix, it's often detrimental to be overprotective.
> 
> Also, I never covered the meaning behind "Castles in the Sky" the book. I started to write it, in fact I did write it. That section was several thousand words. So, in typical 'me' fashion, I removed it and wrote it as a one-shot. Shocking, no? I've already sent it to Emerald Latias, she can prove it's written! But a lot of things will tie-in to this. It also marks the first time I've ever written Julia and also Raine, although she's in it briefly. I should post that in a week or so, also on this account as of right now it's "Sheets of Empty Canvas." I'm not sure how I'll do with characters I've never written before, but hopefully it works out. Fingers crossed.
> 
> In the end, I'm truly glad I wrote this. I hope it was worth it for all of you and gave all of those who wanted Rinoa go get her sight back a little closure. When I think of Castles, I'll always think of Vick330, Yousuf – they were two people who wrote me back then and have stuck with me though the last decade. There are so many people and I'll end up rewriting these notes, I'm trying to do this quickly and that never ends well. But first, Erica (Emerald Latias) thank you for encouraging me to write this and not only that, but for being there every step of the way. Sheila (RinoaKnight) thank you for the stunning pictures, and the continued encouragement – to me, you remain the fandom's single-most asset. Ao Sekai – in a way, this started because of your one-shot. Carie Valentine, thank you for the notes, they are appreciated...also, for you, I unkilled Selphie in the epilogue – she thanks you and so do her many fans. I know there are so many more, but I need to catch a train in an hour or so and need to finish packing.
> 
> Finally, all I can say is never gave up. It's ironic, I received two reviews for chapter one and none for chapter two on Castles in the Sky, but still, I kept going...and ten years later, I'm still here. I'll leave this on the dedication I started it with twelve years ago only with a few major tweaks -
> 
> I think at times we get lost in all of the fantasy, and forget the reality around us. Sometimes that is good, sometimes that is bad… and sometimes it's a wake up call to what's important.
> 
> Wherever you are, where ever life takes you, I hope that all of you find your sandcastle on the beach.

**Author's Note:**

> End Notes: I know, it's more history-y, but honestly people would ask what I thought believed happened to the characters. I think because "Castes in the Sky" was my first fanfiction that I did. And yes, Quistis is still very much around, there was a hint in there, but I'll leave it at that. This first chapter was simply back-story and to explain the significance of sandcastles. Also, wanted to explain about Angelo here as she is based on a Tri-Color Australian Shepherd, but since I needed to FF8-ify went with a Galbadian Shepherd. :D
> 
> Thanks to Carie Valentine for beta'ing, unfortunately I tended to add things so probably made new mistakes. I wasn't able to post when I wanted, my daughter has health issues, so I need to find time to look at it again.
> 
> Special thanks to Emerald Latias and Wayward Tempest; there were nods to both "Future Says Run" and "Chasing the Sunset." There will be a few more references in the last chapter. :)
> 
> .
> 
> In twelve years a lot changes, in real life as well as in fanfiction. When I started Castles in the Sky, I knew little about writing, telling a story, or even anyone on this site. I only knew that I wanted to write for myself, to have fun, and not worry about what others thought. It was simply about the love of the characters – sometimes, even twelve years later, I struggle to remember that, fighting my own doubts.
> 
> Although some people move away fandom, the friends I've met online are and always will be extended-family. It's the hodgepodge of family I've created over the years that I'll remember even more than the writing. Several months into Castles - Vick330, RobertDogwood, and Wayward Tempest became the first of friends. They've all moved on and, although I've lost contact with two of them entirely (Vick is at DeviantART) they're always in my thoughts and I'll always hope for the best.
> 
> Still, there's always room for new family, but Optical Goddess has been with since the being. Carrie is an amazing person on-line and off. I exchanged emails with Ronin-ai twelve years ago, but she left writing for awhile, but now she's an amazing friend.
> 
> Then there's Erica, Emerald-Latias, who gets to hear me complain about life, family, and sometimes fanfiction. Looking back now, it may seem unlikely we'd get along, but I like to think of her as my awesomeness-est little sister who's more a best friend. She's weird, she's kooky, she's a walking Mad-Lib of randomness, and yes, she's family.
> 
> So thank you to everyone, my on-line family. Thank you to everyone who's asked about Castles in the last twelve years.


End file.
